Paranoid~Block (46)

A Poem By Kassady // 1/25/2015

Paranoid
Now I'm paranoid,
Checking, 
And rechecking, 
Eyes searching for your name.
Now that I know, 
I'm obsessed, 
Obsessing, 
Like I always do. 

I Am
I am selfish, 
I am vain, 
And I feel bad, 
I know I've been in the same place, 
But the problem lies in communication, 
Or a lack there of. 
I just don't want to, 
I am selfish, 
I'm a brat, 
Whining and turning into someone, 
I know I am not, 
Or maybe the fact is, 
I am this girl, 
I just try to hide it, 
Because that's who I am, 
I am secretive, 
I lie, 
I hide, 
I keep my deepest feelings to myself, 
As soon you think I've shared, 
There is another layer, 
That I don't even know about, 
Or I do, 
I just can't decipher. 
Snippet
Collecting attention, 
Like it's some kind of prize.

Smoke
Grasping at smoke, my dreams, 
Trying to remember, 
Trying to listen to the whispers, inside my head, 
They speak of distance images, 
Figures and shadows, 
Forgotten at the sight of daylight. 

The Voice in My Head
sarcastic laugh
"yeah right
like that would ever happen"
your voice inside my head
there at the worst times
but those are
some of the best times 
eye roll
this is getting ridiculous 
somewhere I need 
some kind of diversion
someone. 

Time Traveler
You kept kissing me, 
And I kept pushing you away.
It got harder every time, 
Despite my growing annoyance, 
But I knew I couldn't say stop, 
Not just yet, 
If I wanted the future to remain the same, 
I had to pretend I was not over you, 
Not just yet. 

Questions of A Younger Brother
Oh sweet innocence, 
Questions left unanswered, 
Defense taken for me, 
Although I wouldn't mind, 
Telling you, 
Spitting you, 
Getting you to giggle in disgust, 
At the fact that I "kissed a boy." 

Swing Dancing
Cheeks sore from laughing, 
How can two people, 
Be so close without being intimate? 
I laugh so hard, 
And my words tumble out, 
Makes me wonder, 
If we were ever together outside of dance, 
If we'd laugh as hard as we do, 
Dancing practically cheek to cheek, 
Laughing about the stupidest things, 
And I love this freedom, 
This friendship, 
This bond, 
And I can feel my whole heart sparkle and pop,
With excitement and happiness, 
I'm just in my element, 
And yeah, 
I know I'm good.

Block
I'm done, 
Eyes stinging momentarily, 
As one of the last strings, 
Tied to once was, 
Is cut loose, 
No longer holding on, 
No longer watching to see, 
If you've seen,
This satisfaction is below me, 
And the way I keep torturing you is unfair. 
Cutting you loose, 
I hope you realize, 
I'll still be your friend, 
But it's time to move on, 
It's time for both of us to move on. 

Comments

I really like these! They

I really like these! They felt very personal. I could relate to I Am--I know I feel that way sometimes. Block was also very good.

Erin | Tue, 01/27/2015

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

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