Thanksgiving with Darth Vadar (If Darth Vadar lived after converting to good)

Fiction By Kassady // 11/18/2011

Thanksgiving with Darth Vadar

If Darth Vadar lived after converting to good.

 

(Scene shows Laia in the kitchen, pureeing some kind of exoitic pheasant. Hon Solo is making drinks on the other side of the kitchen, and C3PO is setting the table. R2D2 is shown cleaning up something that spilled. Wicket is playing a card game with Chewbaca at a seperate table.)

Laia: Father better come after all this (indicates to all the pureed food on the counter top)

Hon Solo: He'll come.

Chewbaca: ARRRGGG!

Hon Solo: (looks up from drinks) Shut up Chewy! 

(Door opens and Lando Calrissian strides in with a large smile)

Lando: Hon, Laia, Chewy! How good to see ya!

Hon Solo: (wipes hands quickly on towels and hugs Lando, both patt each other on back) Lando you slim ball! How have you been?

Lando: (sighs) Well you know how it is (turns to Laia) Laia! Beautiful as ever!

Laia: (rolls eyes) Always the charmer aren't you?

Lando (shrugs) Hey, I try!

(both hug)

R2D2: (music beeps)

Chewy: ARG! (cries in indignation)

Lando: I didn't forget you, you big lug! Come here! (Chewy bear hugs Lando) You too man, You too!

C3PO: Humans!

Lando: Hi C3PO, how have you been?

C3PO: (straightens in importance) Well, I've been quite fine actually, I like his home, even though Master Hon Solo insults me from time to time, On that subject, It has come to my attention-

Lando: Hey, where's Luke? I've missed that kid!

Hon Solo: Hey, he's my kid (jerks thumb at his own chest, then smiles)

Lando: (smiles)

Chewy: ARGAAR

Laia: He should be here soon, but we should all wash up!

(Everyone bustles off and washes hands then comes back, Lando, Hon Solo, Laia, Chewbaca and Wichet sit down at the table, while C3PO and R2D2 put food on the table and prepair the last things)

(door opens and Luke comes in, looking haggered and out of breath)

Laia: (hopes off chair) LUKE!

Luke: (gasps for air) Laia!

Laia: (tackeling her brother in a hug, and kisses his cheek) I've missed you! How have you been?

Darth Vadar: Koooo Keee... Kooo Keee Luke! Open the door for me Luke... Koooo Keee... Kooo Keee... open the door! I am your Father!

Luke: (grimaces then opens the door)

(Darth Vadar steps in, with a reef of autumn leaves around his helmet and wearing a red and orange cape)

Laia: (raises eyebrows) Father, You look... um... Healthy?

Hon Solo: How's my Father-in-law? (looking at Darth Vadar weird)

Laia: (elbows Hon in the ribs) Come in, Come in! (Attempts to hug him, but her head comes to his shoulders)

Darth Vadar: (arms held on either side awkwardly, untill Laia is done hugging him) Laia... I am your Father!

Laia: Yes, Father... I know... hungry?!

Darth Vadar: Yeeeeesss...

Laia: (sending Force message to Luke) What in the planet of Hoth's  wrong with him?

Luke: (answering back) The blast from the ship we left... well... it sort of fried his brain a little bit... he's definitely NOT healthy! Hon! (goes foward and hugs Hon Solo)

Hon Solo: (thuds Luke's back enthuisastically)  Good to see you kid!

Darth Vadar: (points to Hon Solo) I am your Father?

Hon Solo: (nods sarcasically) Yeah!

Laia: (elbows Hon Solo again)

Hon Solo: Ow!

Luke: (smiles and looks at the table) Ooh! Yum! Did you...(notice puree's) make... all of this?

Laia: (grimaces) Yep, Hey Father! I pureed the food for you, so that it will be easier for you to eat.

Lando: (murmers) Or drink.

Hon Solo: (sharing a nod and a smile with Lando)

Laia: Won't you sit Father?

Darth Vadar: (looks this way and that with his huge helmet then looks at Lando, Points at Lando, and accidently starts to choke him with the Force) I am your Father?

Lando: (suspended in air, choking and gripping his neck) No! No!

Laia: (rushed over to Darth Vadar's outstretched arm) Father!  That's our good friend!

Darth Vadar: Turns to look at Laia) Really... Kooo Keee Nice... to meet.. Kooo Keee... You!

Lando: (still choking) You too!

Darth Vadar: (drops hand and sits at the table, then gets up and situates his cloak so that it isn't choking him)

Lando: (drops to ground and takes shaky breaths)

Laia: (rushes over to his side)

Luke: (goes over to Lando's side) You alright?

Lando: (nods, rubbing his neck) Fine!

They get up and all sit at the table.

Laia: (dishing out pureed food into everyones glasses) So... Father, how has your trip to Tatoween gone?

Darth Vadar: (breathing noisesly) Kooo Keee... Kooo Keee... Kooo Keee... Not good... Koo Kee... My helmet... Keee... Almost burned away... Kooo Keee... And I was attacked by... Kooo Keee... Those blasted... Kooo Kee... Sand people!... I thought I killed...Kee Koo... All of them!

Laia: (looks questioningly over at Luke)

Luke: (shrugs) Yeah Father! You sure showed them!

Hon Solo: (looking from one person to the other)

Lando: (trying to sip his pheasant smoothy but gagging on it and spitting it back into the cup)

Chewbacca: (devoring the green pea puree and pheasant smoothy)

Wicket: (trying to climb unto the stool to sit at the table, but kept on falling off)

C3PO: (shuffling out of the dinning area)

R2D2: (twirling around in circles beeping)

Darth Vadar: (takes a glass of Sweet Potatoe puree and pours it throw his helmet)

Laia: (slaps forehead) Uh Father! Here's a straw!

Darth Vadar: (takes straw from Laia, Orange Puree dripping off his helmet and unto his black robes) Laia.... Kooo Keee... I am grateful!

Laia: (smiles kindly)

Luke: (trying to smuggle laughter)

Darth Vadar: (lifts helmet a bit, and puts straw through the gap, making slurping noises as he drinks)

Lando: What have you been up to Hon old buddy?

Hon Solo: Nothing much, now that the Empire has fallen there's nothing much to do.

Laia: (rolls eyes) That's not true Hon, and you know it!

Darth Vadar: (gets up, chair falling to the ground) THE EMPIRE HAS FALLEN!? Koo Kee Koo Kee Kooo Keee Kooo Kee

Luke: (slaps forehead) Ex-nay on the Empire-ay!

Laia: (making exasperated movement of the hands) 

Luke: No Father! Its fine! Hon was joking!

Darth Vadar: (picks up chair with the Force and sits back down, laughing) Koo Kee... Oh! Good one Son... Kooo Keee... 

Lando: Could some one pass the Pureed Peas Please.

Chewbacca: ARHRR (passes Pureed Peas)

Darth Vadar: (noisely sipping) Koo... Kee... Koo... Keeee...SHLURP... Koo... Kee... SHLURP.... Kooo.... Keeee... SHLUUUUUURRP...

Laia, Hon Solo, Lando and Luke: (All cringing at the sound of Darth Vadar, each slurp)

Laia: (taking Cautious sip at the pureed pheasant, gags and spits it back out)

Luke: (Sighs in boredom) Hon!

Hon Solo: (eager for conversation) Yes?

Luke: When do you plan on sending that fleet of star destorers to the dark side of the moon of Angbar? They need some straightening up, they think they can take the... (looks warily at Darth Vadar then whispers) emporers place...

Hon Solo: (nodding) Yeah well... I haven't planned on anything yet. Maybe you should go and talk to them before we go and blast them to bits.

Luke: Well, I've already talked to them... it was a bit hard with Mr. Litte Red Hiding Cloak of here, but I got the message across.

Lando: How did they react?

Luke: (rubbing side of cheek absently) They shot at my ship and tried killing him (jerks thumb at Darth Vadar who is playing with his straw humming the Star Wars theme song to himself)

Han Solo: *raises eyebrows* Well... we'll just have to fix that won't we.

Laia: Guys! Please! It's thanksgiving, will you please stop talking about blasting things? *turns to Darth Vadar* Father, would you like some of my creamed butter rolls?

Darth Vadar: *looks up from playing with his straw like it's a light saber* Yum.... Keee...koooo....keee...kooo...

Laia: *nods and pours something buttering into another glass* Here Father! I think you'll like it.

Darth  Vadar: *sips* UCK! Kee Koo, Kee kooo. DIS- kee. kooo...- GUSTING!

(Lando, Hon Solo and Luke chuckle)

Laia: *looking hurt* Well... maybe...

Luke: *puts hand gentle on Laia's hand* It's alright Laia, he's fine! I think it's delicious! Don't you Hon?

Hon Solo: Huh?

Laia: *rolls eyes*

Darth Vadar: Kee....kooo... *gets up* I do not have time.... kee... koo.... for this silly celebration.... Keee.... kooo.... Where is the emperor.... Keee.... kooo....

Luke: *gets up and pulls Darth Vadar back into the chair* Father.... Just sit down, we'll find him later.

Darth Vadar: *Nods dumbly* Okay Son.... Keee...kooo.... *barks like a 

 

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