Terror in the Waiting Room

An Essay By Kendra // 3/24/2009

The waiting room at the doctor’s office was jam-packed full of people. Skinny people, fat people, hippy people, nice people, broken-boned people, accidented people, and one big fat lady noisily chewing gum who had one big red-orange ponytail on the right side of her fat head. I don’t know what her name was, so let’s just call her… Hagar. Is Hagar okay with you? Okay, it’s fine with me too.
A man in first corner of the room was most unfortunate when Hagar plopped down in the burgundy seat beside him. Oh well, he was unfortunate anyway — he had a gold tooth.
“So, buddy, what happened to you? Huh?” Hagar asked randomly. The man was also kind of weird so, being weird, he answered her. There was supposedly something wrong with his arm, and Hagar said most suddenly,
“Oh, yeah, I know all about that, my arm has been acting weird too. I can’t hold anything heavy. Yes, yes, I know.”
If any one had been watching, which I am sure a lot of people were, they were probably thinking, That person is so weird, I am glad I am not sitting next to her.
Some of the problems about Hagar was that she was nosy, believed that she should know everything, she was loud, and she made it her policy to know everything about everybody.
So, if you had been watching the room up above, say from a hidden camera, you would’ve seen Hagar moving from chair to chair which looked something like, “Plop! Plop! PLOP!”
There, she was sitting right next to a poor little old lady with a few bandages on her knee. (And I mean little! She was dwarfed.)
“So, what happened to you? Did ya’ fall?” Hagar was leaning over the hunched little old lady. The lady was very quiet and so I am not exactly sure what she said, but I think she said, “No, I have arthritis.”
“Oh, hmmm.” Hagar sounded a little disappointed that she wasn’t right about what happened to the little lady.
A red-headed man sitting next to me in a wheelchair had a splint on one ankle, a temporary cast on one arm and huge, pussy scabs and scratches on his knees and arm. Then, “Plop! Plop! Plop! PLOP!” Hagar was sitting right in front of me and right across from the scabbed-up, red-headed man!
“So, Red, what happened to you?”
“I was hit by a car on my motorcycle.”
“Oh, were you wearing you leathers?”
The conversation went on for a few minutes, ranging from the scabbed-up, red-headed man, to his children and,
“Awww, congratulations!” (That was Hagar commenting on the man’s three-week-old baby that wasn’t there.)
Then, Hagar slowly turned her huge head towards me!
“So, Baby, what happened to you? Hmmm?” I was almost petrified, but, I slowly managed to say,
“Uhhhh, I b-broke my leg.”
“Oh, how did you do it?”
“I was on a sled.”
The conversation, if you can call it that, went on, and it was very strange.
This was a very strange occurrence and I hope it won’t happen again. Thank you for listening and not leaving since this was so strange.
This has been, “Terror in the Waiting Room” with Kendra.

The End
*********

Comments

Heh Heh.

Tell me, did that really happen?
Either way, that's pretty funny. I think I know a few people like Hagar.

James | Tue, 03/31/2009

<><~~~~~~~~~~~~><>
"The idea that we should approach science without a philosophy is itself a philosophy... and a bad one, because it is self-refuting." -- Dr. Jason Lisle

Hee hee. Makes me laugh.

Hee hee. Makes me laugh. Poor you, you must have been utterly mortified.
~~Alecia

Anonymous | Tue, 03/31/2009

You poor being. I feel for

You poor being. I feel for you. I know a person like that. Tsk tsk tsk.

"Here are the beauties which pierce like swords or burn like cold iron." C.S.Lewis

airlia | Tue, 03/31/2009

"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God such men lived."
General George S. Patton

Thanks!!!!!

Thank you all for the comments! It was really neat for me to get comments from all of you.
James: Yes, that actually did happen to me!
-------------------------------------------------
"My brains, his steel, and your strength against sixty men, and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy?"--Westley

Kendra | Tue, 03/31/2009

<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\
"Are you sure this water is sanitary? It looks questionable to me! But what about bacteria?"--Tantor the elephant from Tarzan.

Thanks!!!!!

Thank you all for the nice comments. It was really neat for me to get comments from all of you!
James: Yes, this actually did happen to me once!
-------------------------------------------------
"My brains, his steel, and your strength against sixty men, and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy?"--Westley

Kendra | Tue, 03/31/2009

<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\<>/\
"Are you sure this water is sanitary? It looks questionable to me! But what about bacteria?"--Tantor the elephant from Tarzan.

When she asked you what

When she asked you what happened to you, did you want to knock on your cast and say "Nothing, I just like to sit in the waiting room."? Poor little child, I can just see you trembling in the shadow of that red-headed terror.

"It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you." from Batman Begins

The Brit | Tue, 03/31/2009

good writing

That's so funny. I can picture her totally.
I don't know why, but the writing style makes me think of a future Flannery O'Connor. Maybe because she has a waiting room scene in one of her short stories... (forget which one)

Anonymous | Wed, 04/01/2009

Boy don't you have all the

Boy don't you have all the luck? That's crazy! you poor thing! LOL. I can see why you call it Terror in the Waiting Room.

I am Nate-Dude | Wed, 04/01/2009

Nate-Dude

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