Child of Darkness, Chapter 2

Fiction By Keri // 2/9/2009

The moment we get back to the cell, the door behind us slams shut and we make our way slowly to the back corner of the stone room. My sister gently and quietly helps me to sit down and lean against the wall. She does not speak. Even when a guard enters carrying a pile of hay which he dumps in the corner opposite us, she doesn’t make a sound. “This is so you can be more comfortable.” He says, “I’m to stay here and make sure that the boy tries to walk.” He looks sad, like he doesn’t really bear us any harm. “I was on your father’s side. I’m sorry about everything.” He remains standing; he seems not to know what to do with himself.
“What’s your name?” my sister asks.
“Korin malady”
“Have a seat Korin. I’m going to tell our prince who he really is.” Now I’m a prince. The world seems to be full of surprises. I think dryly. Korin doesn’t sit, he crouches. But my sister thinks that is good enough. She turns to me and begins to speak. “I believe you already know that your name is Nathanial, that I am your sister, and that we are prisoners. So I guess I’ll just tell how we got in this mess. My name is Danielle, our father’s name was King Michael, and our first mother was Queen Isabel. Shortly after you were born, our mother died. I was only three but I still remember her a little, she was beautiful and good. When you were five, Father married again. The lady’s name was Adele. She was kind and good, and an altogether wonderful woman. We all loved her immensely. She was also a widow with a daughter my age. But her daughter did not want to come to live with her mother and we only saw her once, at the wedding. Her name is Scelerisal. She chose to go live with her uncle and aunt on her father’s side. We were happy for many years, Adele ruling by Father’s side. The people loved her as much as you and I did. Until two years ago, Scelerisal decided, all of a sudden, that she wanted to return to her mother. Adele was overjoyed and so, for her sake, was the whole nation. On Scelerisal’s return there was much celebrating all over the land and at the palace there were feasts and balls for three days. But Father and Adele both fell sick and died within six months. As the first born son, you were next in line for the throne but Scelerisal didn’t agree. She said that the oldest relation to the king should rule. I told that would be me but she said she as the heir apparent because she was month older than me and his child by right of marriage. She had friends, many friends and since we are a peaceful nation, the closest we had to an army was the palace guard. There was war if you can call it that. You fought bravely in the war Natty. Whenever our men’s strength began to wane, they would look to you, fighting like a little whirlwind, and take heart. But eventually, you fell. She won without all that much effort at all after that. She set herself up as queen, and moved from the palace to this fortress castle were there are dungeons that haven’t been used in a century. She began putting anyone who would not join her either to death or the dungeons at her whim. Korin must have been one of the smart ones who decided that it would be better to live than to die disgraced. Am I right Korin?” She stops her long speech and turned to the crouching guard.
“As you say malady,” He affirms “We also thought that we could be ore use to you alive than dead.”
“As you say Korin.” Danielle echoes and continues her tale. “You and I escaped Scelerisal and hid for many months trying to find a way to unseat her. We lived in a cottage with kindly old woman while you recovered from your battle wounds. But one day soldiers came to tax the poor woman immensely and we had to run. As we tried to escape, a young soldier, who had let his gaze wander, spotted us and we were caught. On the road back to the new capitol, you managed to get away and we flew but we were still caught but you had taken a man’s sword and killed twenty men single handedly until on threw a rock at you. A rock! It his you across the cheek, dazing you, and a soldier his on the head with all his might using the hilt of his sword. You went down. I thought you were killed. You were unconscious for three days and this is the first that we have seen of each other since then.” She ends her story and just looks at me as I try to take it in. Me, a warrior prince, She an evil queen like a fairytale, Danielle, my sister a princess as well. I speak for the first time that I remember. I do not say any great words but simply a question. My voice is hoarse
“Am I fourteen?”
“Yes, you are. Did you remember?” Danielle looks at me with mild surprise. But I shake my head.
“No, I just know. How old are you and Scelerisal?”
“I am nineteen and Scelerisal is a month older. Oh yes, that reminds me, although I’d like very much to forget. If she catches us again, she plans to execute me, and force you to marry her in order to legitimize her reign.”
“Aren’t I a little young and she a little old?”
“It’s not illegal for the age difference to be such.” Korin suddenly stands up.
“If you don’t want to marry her I suggest you work on getting some strength back in those legs.” I think it is slightly strange of him to be so abrupt but I say nothing. Danielle does not seem to notice and agrees with Korin. So they lift me to my feet and for what seems like hours I practice and practice walking. My legs will not cooperate and keep buckling. But eventually, I can stand on my own.
“Well, that’s enough of an accomplishment for today,” Says Danielle and I am lowered back to a sitting position completely exhausted. “Oh Natty, I’m so glad that you are alive.” Danielle says.
“I’m not all that miserable of the fact either.” I say. My sister laughs merrily.
“Your old self is coming back! Now it seems as if everything is going to be all right after all.” Suddenly, the lamp sputters and goes out and we are in darkness again. Horrible, horrible pitch black, darkness.

Comments

YEAH!!! The new chapter!!

YEAH!!! The new chapter!! It's so good. I like the name you decided on for the evil lady. It fits her personality perfectly. Keep working on it; I can't wait to read more:):)
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"Pretty soon people are going to come to look at it. And some of those people will be... realtors!"--Klaus Baudelaire

Ariel | Tue, 02/10/2009

*****************************************
"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

So much to be said!

So there is a slightly (a word which here means "very much so") arranged marriage! And he did get hit in the head. This is one of the few times that I will not restrain myself as to the correction grammatical errors. You said two or three times "all that" or "all that much" (which is not really proper). It probably wouldn't matter to me, except that I live with my mother who has a big thing about that. Know that I feel terrible for the correction.

Anyway, this is coming together quite nicely. Do you have a plot made out in your head, or are you just making it up as you go along?

"A wizard is never late, nor is he early; he arrives presicely when he means to." Gandalf

The Brit | Tue, 02/10/2009

Thanks Brit and Ariel! I

Thanks Brit and Ariel! I will see to correcting the errors. I'm kinda going with what ever feels right. I don't even know what's happening yet! I know getting hit on the head is a little (OK a LOT) cliche but I didn't really want any of the other common reaons for amnesia. And a sidenote, only AFTER I named a character "Nathanial" do I find out that a two guys are really called Nathanial. Actually I almost wrote "Happy Birthday Nathanial" on a cake that I brought for a report on "Tradional North American Food" And A guy in class who everyone calls Poser is really named Nathanial!!!! Ah, venting for the world to read. It does wonders for the soul... hehe
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I personally predict that the world will come crashing to a halt if you don't forward this to 50 Gazillion people by noon tomorow!!
-me (in parody of a chain e-mail)

Keri | Wed, 02/11/2009

Oh, don't worry about!!

Oh, don't worry about!! What's funny is it actually hepls me to invision what Natty looks like, because I know one of the Nathaniels personaly (he's my cousin!!!) I've done the exact same thing at times. I.E. I'll say something like "Ebenezer is a stupid name!" and the person I'm talking to will say "That's my name!" and walk away leaving me sitting there with a stupid look on my face. So I just yell after them "Scrooge!" and everyone lives happily ever after, singing, and dancing, and playing like the happiest little elf:):)
ANYWAY, I can't wait to read more! t2ul8r
--Ariel:-)
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"Pretty soon people are going to come to look at it. And some of those people will be... realtors!"--Klaus Baudelaire

Ariel | Wed, 02/11/2009

*****************************************
"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

So many Nathanials

I have a brother-in-law named Nathanial. Ha! Somehow it's difficult to picture Natty as my brother-in-law. Nathaniel is a little over six feet tall, and looks remarkably like Michael Phelps. I'm not sure how Natty looks in my mind. It's too fuzzy a picture.

"A wizard is never late, nor is he early; he arrives presicely when he means to." Gandalf

The Brit | Wed, 02/11/2009

I'm never very good at

I'm never very good at picturing charaters in my mind. I usually just have height and hair colo figuredout and sometimes not even that! Like right now all I know is that Natty is a little taller than me which will do you absolutly no good. Another thing, should Korn be a spy for Scelerisal or should he end up being a reliable strong man who is rather lovable? I just remebered that there is a Nathan who goes to our church too! I don't know if his full name is Nathnial and I'm not going to ask. lol
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I personally predict that the world will come crashing to a halt if you don't forward this to 50 Gazillion people by noon tomorow!!
-me (in parody of a chain e-mail)

Keri | Wed, 02/11/2009

hmmmmmm

He should be a good guy and right when Danielle and Nathaniel are thinking they can trust him completely....he tells Scelerisal something (for example--he tells her they're going to try to escape or something like that)and she puts them in solitary confinement. What they don't know is that he did it for their own good, because there's a secret hidden in the lowest level of the dungeon.:)

As you can see I can get very over dramatic with my recomendations:):)
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"Pretty soon people are going to come to look at it. And some of those people will be... realtors!"--Klaus Baudelaire

Ariel | Wed, 02/11/2009

*****************************************
"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

Wow, that WAS dramatic! I

Wow, that WAS dramatic! I don't think I'll have any secret tunnels or doors or things like that. I'll just have him accidently betray them or something like that I guess.
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I personally predict that the world will come crashing to a halt if you don't forward this to 50 Gazillion people by noon tomorow!!
-me (in parody of a chain e-mail)

Keri | Sat, 02/14/2009

hehe

Oh you're so nice and calm. No secret tunnels and giant spiders for you:):):) I must have been watching a really dark and mysterious movie right before i gave you that "recomendation";)
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"Pretty soon people are going to come to look at it. And some of those people will be... realtors!"--Klaus Baudelaire

Ariel | Sat, 02/14/2009

*****************************************
"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

I object!!

Nice and calm? I just think that secret tunnels are becoming cliche! Me nice and calm... well that's a thought. My friends say that the only thing I'm levelheaded about is guys. I'm the only person I know who has never had a crush or inclination to date.
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I personally predict that the world will come crashing to a halt if you don't forward this to 50 Gazillion people by noon tomorow!!
-me (in parody of a chain e-mail)

Keri | Sun, 02/15/2009

HELLO! So, where's the next

HELLO! So, where's the next chapter? I'm waiting! Wow. I had a little Visini moment there. Ha! That's funny.

It takes people a long time to learn the difference between talent and genius, especially ambitious young men and women. --Little Women

The Brit | Fri, 02/27/2009

I'm ashamed to admit that I

I'm ashamed to admit that I have not yet completed the next chapter. :( I seem to be struggling greatly with it. I just keep starting it and then erasing everything that I wrote because I didn't like it. It keeps looking forced. And now I'm mad at myself for ending the last chapter in the way I did because there aren't all that many options. I mean like, I need to "talk" about how Natty feels about being in dark again because I AM sure that I'm going to have him have a difficult time whenever it's dark. 'cause him overcoming that is part of the story as well him running from Scelerisal (I know I bestowed her name on her but I can never remember how to spell it. Probably 'cause it's a Latin word that I added A L to.) and coming to grips with the fact that he'll never remember all these people he keeps seeing that know him and he doesn't know them. But I only have those vague ideas to work with so, any input would helpful. yeah. I've typed long enough. bye-bye!
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I personally predict that the world will come crashing to a halt if you don't forward this to 50 Gazillion people by noon tomorow!!
-me (in parody of a chain e-mail)

Keri | Sat, 02/28/2009

Halelujah!!!!

I have finished chapter 3!! I posted it yesterday so it should be up soon. Yay!! When I finished it I attached my iPod to the houses loud speakers and tgurn the halelujah chorus uploud! weird I know but I'm happy to have it done. I somehow had hard time writing it.
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I personally predict that the world will come crashing to a halt if you don't forward this to 50 Gazillion people by noon tomorow!!
-me (in parody of a chain e-mail)

Keri | Wed, 03/04/2009

Hip, hip hurray!!!!! Can't

Hip, hip hurray!!!!! Can't wait to see what's in the new chapter!!!!
------------------------------------------------
"Pretty soon people are going to come to look at it. And some of those people will be... realtors!"--Klaus Baudelaire

Ariel | Wed, 03/04/2009

*****************************************
"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

Okay, am I allowed to

Okay, am I allowed to criticise? I love the story line, and everything about it, except the grammar. There's a few mistakes there. Other than that, it rocks!

"True love is the greatest thing in the world - except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, when the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe." - Miracle Max, from The Princess Bride

Bridget | Thu, 06/11/2009

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

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