My Mister

An Essay By Keri // 1/29/2014

Hey, Mister. I don't know if you'll see this. At the moment, I have no intention of showing you. I opened this word processor because I felt like I needed a fairy tale. That made me start thinking of you. You, my own personal fairy tale. Look at us, living a cutsey little happily-ever-after. Don't you ever think that our hard times will ever mean it's not that.

Every tear I have ever had since I've known you has made me love you more.
And, darling, I know you hated crying in front of me, but I never told you how much I loved that. No, I didn't revel in your tears. I came to feel closer to you. There will be tears in every person's life. To share our tears with each other is the closest, most revealing, way to be with another person. It gives me a chance to take care of you.

I love taking care of you. I love wrapping you in my arms, and feeling like you need me as much as I need you. Oh, my precious, oh my darling, oh my dear, sweet, beloved Mister. Just thinking of taking care of you fills me with such love and fondness and bright joy even sitting alone in this dark room. Cooking for you, making your bed, doing your laundry, rubbing your back, kissing your pains, holding your heart, holding your hand, and so much more are want I want.

When you're old, I want to be the one to push your wheelchair. I don't care if I'm in one of my own. I want to feed you your gruel with a spoon even if I need a younger person's hand to guide my hand if it trembles too much with age. I want to run my bony fingers through your hair white as a wedding dress if you have any left. I want to still be arguing about who gets to die first when we're close to it. then, I want to die seconds before you while I lay in your arms.

I never knew love before I knew you. You have been my teacher, and my guide. You have loved me without asking anything. You are gentleness, sweetness, and love. My sweet Mister, thank you. I will never understand why you love me. All I can do is thank God for you every second that I'm alive. Mathew, I love you.

Comments

This is beautiful

I loved the pictures of daily life you paint with your words. The part about growing old together really touched me - I work as a nursing assistant and have seen firsthand the difference in a resident's life when their spouse or family is closely involved in their lives. It's so beautiful to see that unconditional, life-long commitment to love.

Johanna | Thu, 01/30/2014

"Trials teach us what we are; they dig up the soil, and let us see what we are made of."
- Charles Spurgeon

This is so beautiful. Your

This is so beautiful. Your images and word choices were so vivid, I could see it all. Clearly, what you both have is special, and I hope that I can find something like that one day. :)

Erin | Thu, 01/30/2014

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

*wipes away tears*

This is SO sweet! I was literally tearing up at the end! What a special relationship, it's so wonderful! I love your wording and imagery, really, really incredible!
Love!!!

Kassady | Thu, 01/30/2014

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

This is sweet. It radiates

This is sweet. It radiates happiness and just being content. :)

Madeline | Thu, 01/30/2014

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

This is really lovely and I

This is really lovely and I like how it's full of sacrificial love no matter what happens. :)

Lucy Anne | Fri, 01/31/2014

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

So sweet

This was beautiful...it reminds me of Up about the growing old together part. I absolutely love the paragraph about the tears. That's quite precious :)

Maddi | Mon, 02/03/2014

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

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