Fiction By Laura Elizabeth // 7/19/2009

Eustace's house.
Ed and Lucy are sitting on the edge of Lucy's bed looking at a painting of a ship.
Ed: Look's like a Narnian ship.
Lucy: Yeah. Thought Aslan said he'd take us back. Oh well, I guess he forgot.
Eustace comes in.
Eust: Narnia is'nt real.
Ed: Uh huh.
Eust: Listen to this poem I made up about Narnia: Narnia, Narnia, I long for thee, I wish thy beaches and oceans to see. But, alas, since you aren't real and genuine, thinking about you is really a sin. Ha ha ha!
Ed: Shut up, dingbat.
Eust: How do you like that picture? I absolutely despise it.
Lucy: It's kinda nice.
Ed: Look, it looks like it's really moving!
Lucy: Cool. I think it is.
Eustace: You are both phsycologically impaired and deranged. Of course it's not moving.
Suddenly, the wind starts blowing out of the picture. Eustace has a look of utter terror on his face.
Ed: Told you.
Eust: I'm going to smash it. Just watch!
He runs up to the picture, and is suddenly sucked into it, along with Lucy and Ed.

In the ocean
Lucy, Ed, and Eustace flounder wildly in the water. The ship is floating nearby.
Lucy: Help! Help!
Eust: I'll- Help! I'll pay you all back- Help! Help! Ahhhh, I'm drowing!
Someone jumps overboard and swims towards them as the ship comes closer. The person, who Lucy sees is a man, grabs her and pulls her towards the ship. They are all four taken on board.
Lucy: Thank you. Who are you?
Person: I'm King Cass. Welcome to my floating living quarters.
Ed: You live here? Has anything happened to Cair Paravel?
Cass: Yeah, sorta. It hasn't been fixed up all the way yet. So I decided to go on a voyage while I waited. Also, I'm looking for some fellows who Miraz banished.
Eust: You lumbering idiots, you tore my new shirt. Alberta will kill me now.
Cass: Who's Alberta?
Ed: His mother. They're on a first name basis. Let me introduce this extremely rude kid to you. His name is Eustace Clarence Scrubb. We usually call him E-C-S when we're mad at him, which is often.
Cass: Hi, Eustace Clare... oh, bother, I can't remember all that.
Lucy: That's all right. Just call him Eust.
Suddenly, Eustace lets out an extremely feminine scream, which causes everyone else to nearly fall over board.
Lucy: Oh, sweet, a talking mouse.
Eust: Get it outta here. EEEK! I simply abhor mice, and this one is the hugest I've ever seen! EEEEK!
Ed: Hi, Reepicheep.
Reep: Hi, King Ed, Queen Lucy. How are ya'll?
Reep: Who is this completely barbaric personage? Someone from Peralandra? Oh, I forgot, Peralandra doesn't have barbarians.
Eust(to himself): I'm gonna kill it some day. Oh, wait, I can't. I'm a pacifist.
Cass: You are all wet. I'll go get you some dry clothes. Lucy, you can have my cabin.
Lucy: How sweet of you. I really don't want to put you out.
Cass: No, your'e the lady here. I want to.
Eust: How gross. How unfeministic. It really puts girls down when you do that.
Cass: I'll show you boys where we'll sleep. Lucy, we'll be in the hold if you want to find us.
They go down into the hold, and see lots of hammocks swinging from the ceiling.
Eust: I don't wanna sleep in those. They'll make me even more seasick than I already am.
Ed: Are you all right, Eust? You look like you're sick.
Eust: Idiot! That's because I am. Ohhhh, my stomach.
Cass: You'd better lay down. I'll be back.
He and Ed go up to the deck, and see Lucy.
Cass: Queen Lucy, I heard you were given some magic medicine by Santa Claus.
Lucy: Yeah. But I gave it back.
Cass: Eustace is seasick. I bet now you wish you had kept the medicine.
Lucy: Huh uh.
Cass: Well, I heard that seawater will cure seasickness.
Ed: Oh? How?
Cass: You threaten to make them drink it if they don't get up immediately. It works without fail, or so I'm told. After about one second, they are completely back to normal.
Ed: Let's try it.
They do.
Eust: If you make me drink it, you'll be sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm sick, I tell you. Mama! I want my mama!
Ed: Your mama isn't here.
Eust: Then my daddy will do.
Lucy: Oh, Eust. You're hopeless.
They leave.

On deck the next day.
Lookout: Land in sight! The Lone Islands!
Lucy: Let's land on that one.
Cass: No one lives on it. They live on the other two.
Lucy: I know. We can walk to the other end and have the ship pick us up there and take us to Narrowhaven. That's the city on Felimath or Doorn or Avra. I can't remember which is which.
They land.
Eust: Finally, we're off that cramped little ship.
Cass: Well, are we all here? Ed, Lucy, Eust, Reep. Come on.
They walk on until they see some men under a tree.
Leader: My name's Pug. Come over and have a drink with us.
Cass: Nawww.
Pug: Fine. Grab them men.
Cass: On second thought, I guess we will drink with you.
Pug: Too late. Now you'll be sold as slaves.
Eust: Cool. I was writing a report paper on slavery. Now I'll get to experience it first hand.
They are all tied up, and led away to a boat. When they are about to get in, a man walks up.
Man: Where are you taking them?
Pug: To market to sell.
Man: I'll buy that one now.
He points to Cass.
Pug: Ok. Take him. You can pay me three hundred gold pieces.
Man: I'll pay you one hundred and fifty.
Pug: Oh, fine. Here you go.
The man leaves with Cass, but without paying.
Pug: Hey! You didn't pay me! Come back!
Man: I'm one of the fellows your'e looking for, King Cass.
Cass: How did you know?
Man: I just know. Now, we need to free the others.

In Pug's boat.
Eust: So, Pug, what do you do after capturing some slaves?
Pug: Then we take 'em to Narrowhaven and sell them on market day. It's really that simple. But it makes a lot of money. Especially when Calormenes are there. They buy slaves by the dozens.
Eust: Cool. Thanks for your time.
The boat docks, and they are all thrown into a cell with other slaves-to-be.
Eust: So, what's it like to be a slave?
Slave-to-be: Shut up kid, you're botherin' me.
Eust: Whatever.

Back to Cass and the fellow he was looking for that found him.
Cass: There's my ship. Let's get on board.
They do.
Cass: The others are going to be sold for slaves. We need to go to the governor, and ask him to free them.
Captain: Ok. Let's go.
They sail into Narrowhaven and disembark. Then they march to the governor's castle.
Cass: Let us in!
Guard: Do you have an appointment to see Gov. Gumpus?
Cass: You fool! This isn't the dentist. Let us in.
They force the gate open, and go in.
They go into the castle, and see Gumpus.
Gumpus: I don't remember scheduling a meeting with any of you.
Cass: I'm the king. Free my friends from the slave holders.
Gumpus: Sorry, I don't feel like it right now. Don't have the time.
Cass: Very well, I'll put someone in place who does have the time.
He knocks Gumpus out of the chair and tells the fellow who rescued him to sit in it.
Cass: You are now  the duke. I'm sick of governors. Can we free our friends now?
Duke: Sure. Go ahead.
Cass and his men go to the market, and see Ed, Lucy, and Reep being sold.
Cass: Stop! In the name of the king! Ed, where are you?
Ed is being fought over by two Calormenes, but he breaks free and runs over to Caspian.
Lucy runs away from the person who bought her. Reep does as well.
Cass: Now, where is your miserable cousin?
Ed: He took a fancy to slaveholding. Pug decided he'd take him on as a business partner.
They force Eust away from Pug, and they all board the ship again.
Eust: You brats. I was having fun. I wanna go back.
Cass: Shut up, dufus.
They sail away. Soon, a storm comes up.
Cass: Eust, you can help bail water.
Eust: I don't feel like it!
Cass: Too bad.
They bail water for a long time.
Finally, the storm goes away.
Captain: Your majesty, I have some bad news. Most of the water barrels got broken, and we have hardly any water left.
Cass: Alright, ration what's left.
Just before dinner, Eust sees Reep with his tail hanging down.
Eust: I'm gonna swing him around a little by his tail.
He does, but Reep sticks his hand with his sword, causing Eust to drop the mouse in great pain and bewilderment.
Eust (crying): You meany! You oversized rat! You insensitive, mentally deranged, prig!
Reep: Was that an insult?
Eust: You betcha it was!
Reep: Then, take this!
He slaps Eust with the flat of the blade until Eust runs and finds Cass.
Eust: Help! Please kill him!
Cass: Why don't you?
Eust: Because I'm a pacifist. I'm not allowed to fight.
Cass: I'm not gonna.
Later that night, Eust gets up thirsty. He goes to the water barrel, and is about to get some water, when a sword suddenly appears at his neck.
Eust: Reep! You little creep! What are you doing?
Reep: Making sure no one sneaks water.
Eust: Yeah. I bet. If anyone tried, you wouldn't care, but your'e just trying to get back at me.
Reep: Cass! Eustace is sneaking water.
Eust: Shut up! I say, shut up you tattle tale.
It is too late. Cass, Ed, Lucy, and the captain come up.
Cass: If you ever do that again, Eust, you will get a dozen lashes with a whip.
Eust: Huh uh.
Lookout: Land ho!
They go on shore.

On the island
Cass: Everyone has to help repair the ship and the water barrels. Except Lucy. You can start getting lunch ready.
Eust: You always let Lucy have the easy job, and the best things.
Cass: You can help, too, Eust.
Eust (to himself): I'm gonna run away. Until lunchtime.
He goes away when no one is looking, and starts climbing a steep hill. Pretty soon, it starts getting foggy. He lays down and sleeps. When he wakes up the fog is still there, and it is raining.
Eust: I'm so thirsty. And hungry. I need to go back.
He tries to, but finds out he is lost.
Eust: How perfectly dreadful.
He finds a lake, and is about to drink, when he hears a noise, and sees steam (the fog has cleared a little).
Eust: Oooo, yikes. I'm scared.
A dragon staggers out and goes to the lake to drink. Suddenly, it falls over dead.
Eust: Good, now I can have it's treasure.
He goes in and finds lots of gold and jewels.
Eust: Awwsome! I've never seen so much in my life! Cool! Sweet! Awesome! Groovy! Oh, this is so totally cool. Wow! Wow! Oh, am I gonna be rich. Gonna be? I am! Oh, I am so totally awsomed out. Oh, I hope I'm not dreaming. I don't think I am. This is like, like, so absolutely cool. I can't believe it!
He suddenly realizes that he is very tired, so he lays down after putting a huge bracelet on his arm. When he wakes up, he sees a dragon beside him.
Eust: Yikes. I'd better get out.
He turns, and sees another on the other side of him.
Eust: Like, I'd better get out really, really fast.
He jumps up and runs, and hears a loud noise behind him.
Eust: I gotta get in the water!
He is about to jump in, regardless of the fact that he can't swim, when he sees his reflection.
Eust: Oh my soul! I'm a dragon. Now, this is like the most unfortunate thing that's ever happened to me. Oh, dear. But wait a minute: now I can get back at everyone. I'll eat them all! Heee hee hee.
He flys away towards the camp, and everyone looks up at him.
Cass: Everyone get ready for battle. Lucy, I sure wish you had kept your magic medicine. Don't you wish it now?
Lucy: Huh uh.
Cass: Now, march to meet the fiend.
Ed: Ho, dragon! Can you speak?
Eust: Nah.
Ed: Are you evil or nice?
Eust: I'm not sure. I just wanna get even. Anyways, you have wrong ideas about dragons. They're humans, just like you.
Ed: Your'e a human?
Eust: You bet. A mistreated one who accidentally, yet fortunately, turned into a fearsome dragon.
Cass: Wait a minute. Where's Eustace?
Ed: Are you Eust?
Eust: Yep. And I'm gonna eat you all. Owww!
They all jump back.
Lucy: What's wrong? Oh, poor thing, he's crying.
Eust: My arm! Owww! Ohhh, it hurts.
Cass: Look. He has a bracelet on his arm that's too small. How did he get it on.
Ed: Use your brain. He was a human once.
Cass: Now, Lucy, I bet you wish you had that medicine.
Lucy: Huh uh, huh uh, huh uh.
Cass: Well, maybe we can melt it off.
He gets a burning log and holds it to the bracelet, but, unfortunately, it does not even begin to work.
Eust: Hmm, they are being nice to me. Maybe they like me after all. I don't think I'll eat them.
Cass: Let's all go to bed. We'll discuss what to do tomorrow.

Next morning.
Ed wakes up early, before anyone else, and sees someone coming towards him. Drawing his sword, he goes to the person.
Ed: State name and purpose.
Person: Ed! It's me, Eust.
Ed: Oh, hi. I thought you were a dragon.
Eust: Well, I was, but as you can see I'm not anymore.
Ed: Good luck. How'd it happen?
Eust: Well, last night, I wandered off and saw a humongeous lion right in front of me. He told me to go with him, so I did, and he brought me to this pool, or something, and told me to undress and get in the water. I tried to take my scales off, sorta like a snake sheds its skin, but nothing really happened. I still had scales beneath scales. Then the lion came and dug deep with his claws until I thought I was gonna die, and he pulled and pulled until all the skin came off; not just scales, but the whole business, and I saw in the reflection of the water that I was a boy again. He threw me in the pool, and I swam around (even though I hadn't known how to swim before), and he gave me some new duds. So, I came back here.
Ed: Well, that's awseome. You saw Aslan, I'm sure.
Eust: Yeah, well, anyways, I'm sorry I was a brat to you guys.
Ed: Anytime, mate. Cheers! Let's go tell the others.
They do, and the next day they set sail again.

Two days later
Ed is looking out of a window in the ship and sees rock thingys in the water. Then they disappear and come up closer to the ship.
Ed: Lucy, Eust, did you see that?
Lucy and Eust: Yeah. Wonder what they are?
Cass comes in.
Cass: Did you guys see those bumps in the water?
Ed: Yeah, we were about to tell you.
Captain: Sire! Hurry! It's a sea serpent.
Sailor: Cooool! I've always wanted to see one! Where's my camera?
Cass: Hurry! It's gonna smash the ship.
Eust: I think it's a rather large variety of garter snake, actually.
Cass: Well, I don't like garter snakes!
Reep: We must push it off the ship!
He starts doing so, and everyone joins in, except Eust, who takes a sword which Cass gave him and starts hacking at the monster (which shows his pacifism finally wore off). The sword breaks into little teeny tiny miniscule bits.
Cass: Eust! You just broke my second best sword.
Eust: Sorry about that.
Cass: Lucy! Bring an axe! Hurry!
Lucy does, but by now they were able to push the scaly beast over the tail of the ship and into the ocean. They hurriedly sail far away, while the sea serpent remains idiotically picking all along its body to find the pieces of the ship.

Two days later
Lookout: Land Ho!
Lucy: Look, two streams. Which one shall we go to?
Captain: That one.
Cass: No, it's raining, and the other is more sheltered.
They go to the one Cass wanted to, and eat, and fill their water barrels. A while later it stops raining.
Cass: Let's go to the other stream.
Cass, Ed, Lucy, Reep, and Eust go, and sit down near the edge.
Ed: Ow. I'm sitting on a pretty sharp rock.
He gets up and looks at what he was sitting on.
Ed: Creeps, a helmet, all rusty.
Eust: Maybe there are bones all around.
Lucy: Oh, Eust, please don't talk of bones. Look! Look! There's a gold statue in the water! Isn't it beautiful?
Ed: Yeah. Wow! Must be worth thousands!
Reep: Shall we dive in for it, sire?
Cass: Nah, would be too heavy and the water's too deep.
Ed: I can measure the depth with this spear.
He puts the spear in the water, and it turns to gold. Ed drops it.
Ed: Get away from the water or die!
They jump back.
Cass: Were you gonna kill us if we didn't?
Ed: No, the water would have. Look, it turns stuff to gold. See my big toenail? Some water splashed on it.
Lucy: EEEEE! Get me outta here.
Cass: No, wait. Think of how rich I could be if this island were a secret. None of you are allowed to tell anyone else, or I'll throw you into this water. Cool! I'd be rich as, as...
Ed: As King Midas. But you are forgetting something. I'm king as well, and you can't tell me what to do. So there!
Cass: So, you are just gonna tell everyone about it? I don't think so.
Ed: You got that one right, buddy!
They lunge at each other trying to push one another into the water.
Lucy: Boys will be boys. But I wish they wouldn't act quite like that. Oh well.
Suddenly, Aslan appears, and Ed and Cass stop fighting.
Cass: I was being an idiot. I'm sorry, Ed.
Ed: Me too. Forgive me?
Cass: Yeah. Now let's get outta here.
They do, and go back to the ship, not telling anyone what they saw. The next day they set sail.

A few days later.
Lookout: Land ho!
Cass, Ed, Reep, Captain, Lucy, and Eust go ashore to explore.
Lucy: I've got something in my shoe. I'll catch up in a minute.
She unties her shoe and gets out the thing that was in it. As she is retying it, she hears a thumping or boinging noise.
Lucy: Are there giant rabbits here, or is Tigger coming around? It's possible.
Suddenly, the ground around her is indented and she hears voices all around her, but no one is visible.
Voice1: So, there's the little girl. Shhh. Quiet. Don't want her to know wer'e here.
Voices (altogether)(shouting): Of course not, chief! We wouldn't want her to hear us.
Voice1: So, we trap them at the shore, and kill them if they doesn't do what we wants, right?
Voices (altogether)(shouting): Right! Right chief! Of course! Let's go!
They thump off, as invisible as before, and Lucy runs towards the others. They are standing in front of a huge house, which has smoke coming out of the chimney.
Lucy: Invisible people are gonna ambush us. Whadda we do?
Ed: Yikes. Well, we go and ask nicely if they'll unambush us, of course. And if they don't, we'll kill 'em.
Lucy: They said they wanted us to do somethin', and if we didn't, we'd be killed.
Cass: Well, maybe it's reasonable. We'll see what it is.
Ed: Probably not reasonable if they expect us not to do it, or suspect that we won't.
They go to the beach, and see nothing. Suddenly, they hear a voice.
Voice1: Halt now, peoples. We hears ya. Isn't that right? And, we sees ya too.
Voices (altogether): Right you are, chief!
Cass: Good people, though we cannot see you, you are obviously there, unless our imaginations are playing tricks on all of us at once. What do you want of us?
Voice1: Oh, we don't want anything of you all. Just of the little girl.
Reep: She is a queen! Hold your tongue.
Ed: Not to offend or anything, but you all sound like a bunch of big, stupid bugs, like grasshoppers or crickets.
Voice1: Anyways, we wants the little girl to go upstairs in the house, and speak the spell for making us visible, since we are sick of bumpin' into each other all the time, and generally of not bein' able to see each other.
Lucy: Well, alright. I don't mind.
Ed: This is mad, Lucy. There might be an evil magician up there waiting for you.
Voice1: To be sure, there's a magician. Not really evil, just a bit of a grump. He made us invisible, and we just wants to be seeable again.
Lucy: Yeah. I'll go.

In the house
Lucy goes upstairs, past lots of creepy doors, and all sorts of frightening things.
Finally, she gets to the right door, which is open. When she goes inside, she can't shut it.
Lucy: Oh, well. There's the book.
She opens it, and looks through.
Lucy: A spell for making gold things normal again. Ed could use that for his big toenail. But since he's not here, I can't say it right now. Hmmm, here's a strange one: A spell for making visible things that are invisible. Oh, of course! That's the one I'm looking for.
She says it, and suddenly things in the room start appearing. She sees Aslan, and runs to him.
Lucy: Oh, Aslan, I'm so glad your'e back.
Aslan: Hello, little one. You have made the invisible people visible. And also, the magician can be seen once again.
The magician comes in.
Magician: Hello, Lucy, thanks for making me visible.
Lucy: Your'e not mad at me?
Magician: Of course not. It was very brave of you to come up here. Let's look at the dufflepuds.
Lucy: Are those the 'people' that we talked to?
Magician: Yes. They have only one foot and one leg, right in the middle of their bodies, so they naturally have to hop around.
Lucy looks out the window, and sees the dufflepuds jumping around.
Lucy: Theyr'e cute.
Magician: Yes, they rather are. But stupid! Oh, my goodness, are they stupid! They once went to bed in the morning just so they could stay up at night. Only, they couldn't get to sleep, and that night they were dreadfully tired. Oh, dear. They are very foolish. They have done stupider things than that, but we don't have time right now. Ya'll need to keep sailing. Go down and meet the others.
The next day they set sail, after bidding the dufflepuds and the magician farewell.

After sailing for some time, they see what looks like a black island ahead of them. When they get closer, they see it is a darkness, not an island.
Cass: Let's turn back.
Reep: Turn back? Of course not. Are you a coward?
Cass: Very well, Reep. But you sound just like Glozzelle.
They sail into it, and hear a yell.
Yeller: Help! Get me outta here!
Cass: Haul him in!
They haul the man in. He is a sight, with torn clothes, dripping wet matted hair, and a look of complete and absolute terror on his face.
Man: Get out of here! This is the place where nightmares come true! Hurry!
Cass: Turn the ship! Ed, where are you?
Ed: Over here. There's something...ugh, something crawling all over me! Help!
Lucy: EEEEEK! A giant tyrannosaurus rex is coming towards me. Help! Help!
Cass: Yikes. Shrieks. They're already having nightmares. We've gotta get out of here. Captain! Turn the ship like I said!
Captain: I can't! This thing, it's, it's tying the wheel up. I can't turn it!
Lucy: Aslan! Heeeeelp!
Suddenly, a white bird appears, and the captain is able to turn the wheel. He follows the bird, and finally they are out.
Man: You, you made the darkness go away! Thank you so much. I am your slave forever!
Cass: Nah, you don't have to be a slave. I don't need any, ya know.
Lucy: We didn't make it go away, actually. And, who are you anyways?
Man: I am one of the seven lords your looking for.
Cass: How did you know?
Man: I didn't. It was a joke. Wait a minute: are you really looking for us?
Cass: Yeah! Well, it's nice to meet you. I am honored.
Man: Thanks. The other three went on. I stayed behind to have dreams, because at the time I didn't know they were nightmares. They said I was being stupid, and I suppose I was.
Cass: Well, we'd all better get some sleep.
Man: I don't ever want to sleep again.
Cass: Suit yourself.

Two days pass. They see an island ahead.
Cass: Come on, Ed, Reep, Lucy, Eust, Captain. Let's explore it.
Lucy: What fun!
They go ashore, and see pillars up ahead. When they get there, they see a stone floor, and a table full of awesome scrumptious looking food.
Ed: Let's eat! I'm starved.
Reep: Wait. Look over there!
They see what look like humongeous bird nests at one end of the table. Reep scampers over to the mass of stuff, and looks at them.
Reep: It's people with really, really, really, really, really, really...
Cass: Alright. With really, really, really, really what?
Reep: Now I've gotta start all over. It's people with really, really, really, really, really, really long hair! Come look. They arne't dead, theyr'e asleep.
They all go and look.
Lucy: Creeps. People with really, really, really, really...
Ed: Don't start it, Lucy. Let's eat.
Reep: Are you an idiot? Are you a total absolute fool? Are you completely and absolutely and totally and ridiculously out of your mind? Of course you aren't gonna eat that stuff. That's what made these people fall asleep for so long that their hair grew really, really, really, really, really, really long. Don't be a dufus!
Cass: Reep is right. Let's sit down and wait for a little while.
They all find seats at the table, and soon all fall asleep, quite unintentionally. When they wake up, it is early morning, and a light is coming closer and closer. They realize it is a young woman.
Cass (under his breath): I'm gonna marry her, since Su is never coming back.
Ed: Who are you?
Girl: I am the star's daughter. I'm here to tell you something.
Cass: Don't waste your breath. We alreay know: don't eat the food or we'll all fall asleep so that our hair grows really, really, really, really, really, really, really long. Right?
Girl: Simply put, no.
Cass: Oh. Well, next time I'll get it right. Did I say too many really's?
Girl: You may eat the food. It's there for travellers. These men never even touched it.
Ed: I don't wanna sound very rude, but, what if your'e lying?
Girl: What if I'm not?
Ed: That is a possibility.
Girl: See that thing in the middle of the table? That knife of stone.
Lucy: Oh! That's the one the White Witch used to kill Aslan.
Girl: Exactly. These men were arguing, and one of them picked up the knife. However, being a witch's knife, it sent him and his two companions to sleep for seven years.
Reep: I'm gonna eat some of this food.
He does, and the others wait for him to fall asleep, but he doesn't.
Reep: Yum, yum, yum. You guys ought to try it.
Cass: Oh, fine.
He tries it, and finds out it is good.
Cass: This is really, really, really, really...
Ed: Please, Cass. Not that again. But it is good. Now, lady, can you tell us how to wake these people up, cause we think theyr'e our friends.
Girl: Ask my dad about it. He'll be here in a few minutes.
Her dad comes out and looks at them.
StarDad: Whaddya want, kids?
Cass: We want to wake our friends up.
StarDad: Well, you will have to wait for a few minutes.
They wait, and suddenly birds swoop down and gobble and devour up the food on the table, not leaving anything, even bones.
Cass: Whew! They sure have a hoggish appetite.
StarDad: Ok, now for your question. You have to sail to the world's end and leave behind at least one of your companions. There, now can I rest in peace?
Ed: You mean, you, you were, uh, dead? And we, om, woke you up?
StarDad: Great elephants, no! I was sleeping, and you woke my daughter up, and she woke me up.
Ed: Oh. Sorry.
Cass: Well, who will we leave at the world's end?
Reep: You can leave me. I don't care.
Ed: But, we can't leave you. Your'e a nice little rat!
Reep: Rat?! Rat?! That's it. I am leaving.
Cass: Let's get back to the ship. We don't know how long it'll be before we reach the end, and we must go now. But, om, lady, before we leave, could I ask you one thing?
Girl: Sure thing.
Cass: When we get back, could I marry you? The girl I had been going to marry walked out the doorway and never came back. Please?
Girl: Well, yeah. I guess so. You look like a nice young man to me. I'll see you soon.
Cass: Thanks. Bye, ya'll!
They board the ship and start sailing to the world's end.

A few days later, they see mermaids and mermen underwater.
Reep: May I fight them, your majesty?
Cass: Absolutely, unequivocally, positively, no.
Reep: Ahhh, man!
Cass: This water looks strange. I wonder if it's salt water. Draw some up.
They draw it up, and Cass tries it.
Cass: You guys are never gonna believe me, so I won't tell you.
Ed: Yes, we will.
Cass: It's sweet water!
Ed: Huh uh.
Cass: I knew you wouldn't believe me.
Captain: Your majesty, we are quickly aproaching something: a white, solid looking mass. Shall we go forward more slowly?
Cass: Yes, of course, unless you want us to ram into ice or something. Don't be a dunekoff.
The ship slows down, and they go slowly towards the white stuff.
Cass: I think it's just flowers. Lower one of the rowboats and find out.
They do, and Lucy and a few others get in. When they come back, the boat is full of huge white flowers like water lilies.
Lucy: Cass, look!
Cass: Awesome, dude. I've never seen such cool flowers.
Ed: Well, we can speed up again.
Eust: Yeah, cuz there are no speed limit signs around. Uncivilized.
Lucy: Are you just joking, Eust?
Eust: Yeah.
They go through the flowers, until they stop, but not on purpose; it is too shallow to go any further.
Cass: Well, well, now we have reached the world's end. Reep and I are going on. Farewell.
Lucy: Cass! Surely not! You are the king: you can't just desert your country like that.
Ed: That's right! You have no right to do so!
Reep: We shall tie you up until you come back to your senses.
Cass: I am the king, and I won't be ordered around by two kids and a rat.
Reep: A rat! Did I hear you say a rat? This is just too much. I will not go to the World's End with you.
Cass: I will go, or I will fight whoever tries to prevent me.
Suddenly, they hear a voice.
Aslan: Cass, you may not go to the world's end. You are acting like a fool. Go back to the Star's daughter and marry her, or you'll be sorry.
Cass: Alright.
Aslan: Also, Ed, Lucy, and Eust will go with Reep. Put them in the rowboat.
Cass: Alright.
The three children and Reep get into the boat, and Reep takes his little coracle into it.
Lucy: By, Cass! By everyone!
Ed: By by!
Reep: See ya'll in Aslan's Country!
Eust: I'll be seeing ya'll!
They row off, and soon come to land. A waterfall is not far away. Reep gets in his coracle and sails away.
Reep: Farewell, kids!
Kids: Farewell, Rat.
Reep: You kids...are too...much!
He throws his sword at them, but it misses and sticks in the lilies.
After Reep leaves, they see a lamb making some fried fish.
Lamb: Come and eat.
The kids eat, and then the lamb turns into Aslan.
Aslan: Alright, kids. It's time to go home. Lucy, Ed, I'm afraid you can't come back here ever again.
Lucy: Well! If that don't beat all! What did we do this time?
Aslan: Nothing. But you are too old now. Eust, you will come back someday. But for now, it is time to leave. GO HOME!
Lucy: Aslan, that is so not fair! Eustace is older than me, but he gets to go back.
Aslan: Too bad. He's only come one time.
They all go back through the picture frame, into Lucy's bedroom.
Ed: Well, that was something. Let's go call Pete and Su and tell them about it.
Alberta: Eust! Get over here now!
Eust: Yes mother. Coming!
Alberta: What's wrong with you? I think those cousins of yours are having a bad influence on you.


HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Hilarious,

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Hilarious, Darling!

Reep: Farewell, kids!
Kids: Farewell, Rat.

Makes me laugh!

Ariel | Mon, 07/27/2009

"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

Oh, my...

Cass (under his breath): I'm gonna marry her, since Su is never coming back.
You even worked that in~ AMAZING!

Julie | Mon, 07/27/2009

Formerly Kestrel

I really love these parodies,

I really love these parodies, Laura. They're not only very funny and entertaining, but they also point out what's wrong with the new movies.

Cass: When we get back, could I marry you? The girl I had been going to marry walked out the doorway and never came back. Please?
Girl: Well, yeah. I guess so. You look like a nice young man to me. I'll see you soon.
Cass: Thanks. Bye, ya'll!

Unfortunate, but alas, quite true. I wonder how the movie makers will try to pull that off.

Annabel | Mon, 07/27/2009

Thanks, ya'll! I'm glad

Thanks, ya'll! I'm glad everyone likes them!

Laura Elizabeth | Tue, 07/28/2009

The best stories are those that are focused, unassuming, and self-confident enough to trust the reader to figure things out. --


HAHAHAHAAAAHHH!!!!! That was hilarious!!!!

E | Fri, 08/07/2009

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

I saw VDT and it wasn't much

I saw VDT and it wasn't much like the book. But it was awsome anyway. They had this weird green misty stuff that made you have nightmares or something like that. But at the table near the end of the earth with all the food, it was so funny, when the girl came up to them Caspian says "You are quite beautiful!" and she's like, "Oh, is it distracting you? I can change forms!" And then both Ed and Cass both say real sudden-like, "No!" It's hilarious!

Arya Animarus | Tue, 02/15/2011

Oh for the times when I felt invincible.


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