Autobiographical Poetry...Again

A Poem By little woman // 8/14/2013

I: fighting
fighting this feeling
rising inside
whispering mantras of truth
to contradict the lies
closing me in
tearing at shadows
trying to find light
gasping for air
but my chest is too tight
to allow me to breathe

II:Beautiful
I used to know
I was beautiful
stunning beyond all compare
then slowly I learned
that in fact I was not;
beautiful people, you see
weigh far less than me
my eyes are too small
and my nose is too big
I live in the shadow of these terrible truths;
but now I am trying
praying, crying
to unlearn these things
and once again know
I am beautiful.

III: I thought
I thought you liked her
I tried to remember
as I made myself vulnerable to you.
I thought you liked her
when you stopped me to say
hello.
I watched you walking together alone,
through the moonlit starlight that night
and I gave up and knew that you liked her.
Yet now as we're dancing
and you're speaking so soft-sweetly to me
I'm no longer sure of anything.
Do you like me?
Could you like me?
Can you feel my heart melting
and somehow racing
as you hold me close in the dark?
This confusing goodbye
my heart feels so bruised
as I travel away
my thoughts remain
tumbling and twisting
seeking the truth about you.

IV: chosen
he asked me to the dance
I'd never been asked before
just as friends of course
yet there might be something more
no matter his intent
or what futures may present
I'll always remember
that he asked me first
and the times we shared
and feel special
that he chose me.

V: be there
almost asleep
you talked me awake
confiding dreams you two had made
and now are crumbled and gone
you made me the keeper of your heart
I held it so gently
and did my best to protect you
but I could only do as much
as you would let me do
so in the end
I tried to be there for you

VI: tangible love
I saw them standing
as I drove by
waiting at a crosswalk for the light
her energy spilled out through her
arms and legs and hair and eyes
he watched as she talked
patiently listening
his entire body radiating love for
this girl
I had to drive on
traffic doesn't stop
when you want it to
but as I went on
I said a prayer for those two
those two whose love was so clear and so plain
I want a love like that
someday

VII: before the goodbyes
sitting there
side by side
rocking in time to the music
remembering
everything
laughing so we don't cry
ignoring the hovering goodbye
lingering there
for one last song
leaving all this
will be so wrong
we have no choice
so 'til we do
we'll sit here and rock
and remember

Comments

These are beautiful.

I can't believe how I didn't see these before. They are so lovely! You are an amazing writer. I loved them all, so I can't pick my favourite. Actually, yes: I can narrow it down. Number 3, 6, and 7 were soooo good! Thanks for sharing!

Maddi | Sun, 10/13/2013

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

You have some of the most

You have some of the most honest poetry--I've never read anything quite like it. And it's all so beautiful, and Maddi said.

I think Beautiful was my favorite, because it was heartbreaking and blunt and full of truth. weigh far less than me I think I like this because you didn't have to go there with that poem. You didn't have to be that honest and forthright, but you were. And that's more effective than any essay you could read on this subject.

I liked tangible love as well. Really, I liked everything. WHERE ARE YOU?? Haha. I haven't seen you on here in a long while!

Madeline | Sun, 10/13/2013

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

*re-appears like MAGIC*

I know, I know...I've been away a bit... I think it was just the chaos of school starting...also, it's been taking literally ages for my stuff to get published, which is just sort of disappointing. *excuses* xD

Anyway, I'm going to make an effort to find time for AP without also neglecting homework. Because that happens...Anyway, I'VE MISSED YOU ALL TOO. And I have so much to catch up on!!

Thank you both so much for your sweet comments!!!

little woman | Sun, 10/13/2013

The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.
-G. K. Chesterton