Flurry, and other poems

A Poem By little woman // 1/28/2014

I: Cut Me Loose
cut me loose
from this fear of failure
give me your trust
push me
I can't do this alone
tell me I can
need me to
teach me how to live
please
break my fetters
and teach me to fly

II: scared
I'm scared
so scared
of losing you
I know I'm the one leaving
and you're left behind
that it's my fault
but please
don't give up on me
don't forget me
ever
I know that life
will try to drag us apart
and that time will dull us
maybe we aren't meant to be forever
but don't go
yet
and never forget
who we were
who we are
now

III: flurry
my heart flips
pulse skips
your smile draws me in
emotions flurry like snow
whiteout
overwhelming me
something's different
this time
I don't know what
but I'm apart from you
and aching
I don't know you well enough
to hurt so much
I'm giddy
confused
I want to be cautious
be sure you feel the same
but I think
I'm falling in love
it's too soon
but something's different
I think it's you

IV: help
don't fall
don't go
take it slow
can't blow over now
resisting
subsisting
drowning out
the feelings I can't control
I feel like I've been hit by a car
sore all over
from hiding my tension
I'm talking to myself
in elevators
changing subjects
blushing
too much
help

V: long-distance
visualizing
your face
the way you grin
when you tease
reading these words and picturing you
I know it's not great
but it's the best we can do
so much distance
keeping us apart
twisted time
separating
but these words that broach the distance
these words that bypass time
allow me to say
what I never could say
when I'm in front of you

VI: elevator
alone
in this elevator
90 seconds of silence
haunting me
I'm caged with my thoughts
they all pour out
into the air
I try to ignore
the questioning sounds they make
the way they pull and pluck
at my consciousness
my insecurities
my hopes
teasing me
before the doors open again
and in the busy noise
all is still

VII: come back
I tell you things
you don't want to know
drag you places
you'd rather not go
but you need to come out
live again
the truth hurts
but hurt heals
and though you don't want to hear
and you don't want to see
I can't watch you fall apart
anymore
come back to me

VIII: Truth
tell me the truth
I'm ensnared by your lies
stumbling and falling, trying to fly
every word that you say
turns me around
you're playing with me
pin my heart to the ground
I'm so masochistic
I can't let you go
but the pain that's inside
makes my heart slow
stop making games
I'll play them no more
tell me the truth now
your love I implore

IX: analyzing
watching you
is killing me
overanalyzation
your smile, your laugh
the curve of your arm
what do they mean
do you watch me
as carefully as I watch you?
nonchalantly filled with tension
your absence stabs me
the empty place you ought to be
the empty space you left for me
to try to ignore
the words you say and
the things you do
linger
I toss and turn
these thoughts in my head
I can't think
you

Comments

I don't know you well enough

I don't know you well enough

This line is sticking with me. I read flurry three times. This may just be my favorite of yours ever.

your smile draws me in
it hurt so much
emotions flurry like snow / whiteout
something's different
but something's different / I think it's you

Um, yeah. I read that whole poem about five times, actually. Wow. I feel like every line in that poem is meant to be there. I don't think you could take any one away and still have the same poem, and it's really magical. I just so connected to that. Seriously, seriously fantastic.

I really liked this line from the next poem as well:

sore all over
from hiding my tension

And then I promptly read on and there's about two million lines I could copy paste. Ah! Okay, let me backtrack and give you a full review or else I'm just going to go on about how relatable these were:

1. Cut Me Loose
I really liked the first half of this. The second lost me a bit, but the first was perfect.

2. Scared
I loved this. I love the subtle way you string words together and then the rhymes that just jump out at me, out of nowhere. This really reminds me of the bridge from Lorde's A World Alone (I know we're not everlasting/we're a trainwreck waiting to happen/one day the blood won't flow so gladly). This was just really well done. It takes a common theme, but it erases all of the cliches. and that time will dull us I just love the wording here as well.

3. Flurry
I already went on about it above, but...seriously, so good!

4. Help
I really loved the sore all over/hiding my tension part.

5. Long-distance
I know it's not great/but it's the best we can do Simple, but entirely effective. I also love the last five lines. I understand that so well.

6. Elevator
I liked this, too, although it didn't stand out to me as much as the others. Although this wording here was fantastic: the way they pull and pluck/
at my consciousness

7. Come back
I just really love this whole poem.

8. Truth
Parts of this really jumped out at me. I loved the flow as well. It has a perfect rhythm.

9. analyzing
your smile, your laugh/the curve of your arm/what do they mean/do you watch me Yes!!! And the empty place you ought to be/the empty space you left for me/to try to ignore I just love the way you rhyme things and pull the poem together! Oh, and one of my last favorite bits: the things you do/linger. And then the last line.

I LOVED these! My favorite set by you to date! Sorry for the loooong comment (understatement of the century). I just really loved these! How do you do it?! haha

-Homey :)

Madeline | Thu, 01/30/2014

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

I seriously relate to II -

I seriously relate to II - Scared. It's not exactly what I think sometimes, but it puts together the faint fear of losing a friend just because of time and distance SO well. "and that time will dull us" and the last three lines - ♥!

Lucy Anne | Fri, 01/31/2014

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thank you!

Homey - I love your long comments, you have no idea xD Thank you so much!! And I really love when you go through them one by one, it helps me so much! I'm so glad you liked them!!

Megan - Thank you so much for reading! I love when you comment :)

little woman | Wed, 02/12/2014

The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.
-G. K. Chesterton

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