The Tale of Ander Collins--Chapter Twenty three

Fiction By LoriAnn // 11/13/2009


Most of the Raiders were gone, either chased away by Ravin’s crew and the townsfolk, or else lying still and unmoving on the street. But Ander had no eyes to spare for the fallen Raiders—his attention was fully fixed on his uncle.
Ravin lay crumpled on the cobblestones, his sword sparkling dully a few feet away. Dorlan was kneeling over his father, grasping the older man’s hand in his own.
Ander dropped to his knees beside them, fear and grief warring for first position in his heart. “What happened?”
Ravin blinked at him through eyes slitted with pain. “Blasted Raider,” he said in a weak voice. “Got me from behind.”
“He was fighting one man,” Dorlan explained, “And another one snuck up behind him while he was distracted.”
“Very…unscrupulous,” Uncle Ravin managed, his black hair stuck to his forehead with sweat. “But then, who ever…accused the Raiders of being…scrupulous?” He tried to laugh, but it morphed into a choking fit that racked his body and made him gasp for air.
Dorlan tried to sooth his father, his eyes meeting Ander’s in great concern. Ander felt helpless, and the feeling only grew when he noticed a dark, spreading stain on the cobbles beneath Ravin’s back.
“We need to get him somewhere safe,” Ander said, hating how his voice trembled when he most needed it to be strong.
“No real need,” Ravin said, catching his breath and waving a hand vaguely. “Look to the…Raider’s ships.”
Ander turned and looked behind him, out in the harbor. Sure enough, the Sea Raiders seemed to have sated their taste for carnage and plunder—at least for now. The two dark ships had heaved anchor and were unfurling their coal-black sails. Several small john-boats rowed hastily across the harbor, not wanting to be left behind, but weighted down by men and their ill-gotten gains.
 In the east, a pale band of grey light was beginning to appear, contrasting sadly with the eerie red light of the ravaged town.
“We should still find somewhere out of the way, so the doctor can come,” Ander replied, standing.
Ravin grabbed his hand, and pulled Ander back down beside him. “Like I said, nephew…” he said, coughing again. Wiping his mouth, Ravin pulled his hand away and looked at it. A smear of bright blood sullied his palm. “Like I said: no real need.”
Ander shook his head in denial. “You must have a doctor. I’ll go and find one.” But even he could see that Ravin was getting weaker by the moment.
“I’ll go,” Jagsod offered. Ander started, and saw that Jagsod and Shyllen had both come to stand behind him.
Ravin shook his head and smiled. “That sea-dog got me good, lads. Not much a doctor could do, I don’t think.”
Dorlan looked up with tears in his blue eyes. “I saw the wound,” he told them. “No one could…”
Hermann joined the small knot of people. He held Ravin’s sword in his hands.
Ravin motioned for the big man to give him the blade. Wordlessly, Hermann did, and Ravin took it in now-trembling hands. His breath was rattling wetly in his chest as he said.
“I’m sorry, Ander. And I’m sorry to you as well, Dorlan. Perhaps my responsibility did lie with my sister and my people—I don’t know.” He struggled to catch his breath, and Dorlan stroked his father’s hand, weeping silently.
“I have to…believe I made the right choice,” Ravin continued, locking eyes with Ander. “My first duty is…to my family. But now…” he squeezed Dorlan’s hand. “Do…what you think best.”
“What’s going on?” demanded a familiar voice. Ander turned to see Thraluic hurrying toward them. Despite his commanding tone, the dragon looked extremely worried.
Shyllen and Jagsod parted to let the older dragon in. Thraluic stopped, shocked, when he saw Ravin’s prone form.
Sinking down beside Ander, he laid a hand on his old friend’s shoulder. His golden gaze met Dorlan’s blue one, and found all the answers needed.
“Well,” Thraluic said softly, sadly. “I suppose we brought this trouble.”
Ravin shook his head. “No—if I had faced my duty to the Denwold years ago, before I—“ he paused to take a breath, his voice ever more exhausted. “Before I had my responsibility to my family…” Ravin left the sentence unfinished, too weak to go on.
Dorlan cleared his throat, and tried to wipe the tears away from his unshaven cheeks. “Dad?”
Ravin didn’t answer, but looked up at his son with tired, glad eyes.
“I’ll take care of Mother—I promise. And I’ll fix things back home, too. You…you can count on me.”
Ander felt tears running down his own face. It wasn’t fair! He had only just found his family—and now Ravin was taken from him by sea-scum like the Raiders? He felt like hitting someone; and yet he also felt like crawling into bed for a week and screaming into the pillow. He felt Shyllen kneel beside him, and swallowed back the tears. He didn’t want her to think him a baby.
Ravin raised his hand feebly to Ander, and he took it. Uncle Ravin squeezed his fingers lightly, and placed his son’s hand on top of Ander’s, both of them resting on his chest. He patted them gently and let go, leaning his head back against his son. Sighing gently, he gave Ander a slow wink; and closed his rich-chocolate eyes.
And so died King Ravin Torr, rightful ruler of the Feielves in Denwold Forest.



I told you something big was coming...sorry for the short chapter, but I think it's enough for people to digest for one day, don't you?

*evil laugh*

LoriAnn | Fri, 11/13/2009

Uh, KILLED him?!?

Uh, KILLED him?!? LoriAnn!!

Well, at least it's not Jagsod or someone that I've had most of the book to get attached to. That's a bit of comfort. Or Thraluic. I have this bad feeling about Thraluic and if you kill him I'll...I don't know what I'll do, but I will do something! :0) LOL.

And at the risk of sounding weird...but I'm among a bunch of other authors, so they'll understand--as death scenes go, that was a good one. I don't think any critique could make it better.

Heather | Sun, 11/15/2009

And now our hearts will beat in time/You say I am yours and you are mine...
Michelle Tumes, "There Goes My Love"

I totally understand about

I totally understand about death scenes. Sometime after NaNo I'll post my most recent was so much fun to write. But...okay, I'll admit it...I don't really care about him, because we didn't have much time with him.

Julie | Sun, 11/15/2009

Formerly Kestrel

"And so died King Ravin Torr,

"And so died King Ravin Torr, rightful ruler of the Feielves in Denwold Forest."


Hey, question...did you get the idea for Raven's name from the Stephen Lawhead books? Awesome either way.

Ariel | Sun, 11/15/2009

"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

I saw it coming. I mean

I saw it coming. I mean sorta, and you know... with all the hints but,  HOW COULD YOU DO THAT??????!!!!!!!! I wont speak to you for a week.

(Oh and this is chapter twenty three not twenty two. But in light of everything *glares menacingly* I'll let it slide. *runs off to rant and rave*)

Kay J Fields | Tue, 11/17/2009

Visit my writing/book review blog at


I must admit, I've been planning this for a good long time. And, this was the first character I've ever managed to "kill"--so I'm pretty proud of myself. (And among anyone but other authors, that would sound so

Kay--Sorry about the number thing--I'll try to fix it as soon as possible.

Heather--thanks for the compliment. I wasn't sure it would come off right, but I'm glad you think it did.

OFG--No, actually, I started writing Ander long before I even read "Hood" or the rest. But when I did read them, I thought it was cool. :)

Kestrel--I want to read it!


LoriAnn | Tue, 11/17/2009

 LOL - only among authors

 LOL - only among authors could a conversation about the quality of a death scene be taken seriously!

But LoriAnn!!!  How does Celzara get defeated now?!  Now Dorlan's the head of the family and nothing against him personally, but ... but... 

Heather, remind me to bring something with which to clobber LoriAnn to orchestra on Friday!

Mary | Tue, 11/17/2009

Brother: Your character should drive a motorcycle.
Me: He can't. He's in the wilderness.
Brother: Then make it a four-wheel-drive motorcycle!

Sorry I haven't been

Sorry I haven't been reading!  I just caught up.  And I kinda knew he was gonna die, although I thought it would happen near the end.
Oh, and the other chapter (22?) that one giant raider was described perfectly.  That was the coolest battle I ever read about on here.

Bridget | Thu, 11/19/2009

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya













* fighting back tears*

This CANT happen to the good charictars! no it can't, Now i have to read on and say to myself that this such a wonderful, amazing, on-the-edge-of-your-seat, Book I have read so far on this site!!!

Kassady | Thu, 03/11/2010

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
Write On!