Setting: long feasting hall. Characters: Æsirs, Æsirs, Æsirs everywhere.
Thor: Hark, ye, good Æsirs! Might we entertain ourselves with a game?
(All agree heartily [who can’t? They’re all drunk])
Thor: Shan’t we be merry as we burn calories strolling and gallivanting ‘round our good table in a match of Musical Chairs?
Baldr: Here, here!
Hodr: Minstrels! Strike up a tune!
(Loki enters feasting hall)
Loki: Did I hear a game?
(Music stops, all run for a seat. Loki teleports into Sif’s seat, leaving her standing.)
Thor: You can’t play.
Loki: *makes puppy eyes* But I like games.
Odin: *screams* Don’t look into his eyes! They’ll hypnotize you!
Thor: *mesmerized* I’ll let him play. *Turns back to Loki* But if you get ‘out’, you can’t play next round.
Loki: *smiles* And if I don’t get ‘out’, it means you let me play every single dinner game with you.
Thor: Deal. *smirking* Hope you’re ready to lose!
Loki: *under his breath* I only make deals when I know I’ll win.
(Music starts again, all but Sif start walking again.)
Loki: *teleporting in between people* Oh, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
(Music stops, all running for seats. Loki runs for one, but Snotra sits. Frowning, he pushes her off and takes her seat.)
Snotra: Woah! Dude, that is NOT how you play!
Loki: Hodr! *points across table to Hodr* I see you!
Thor: You just shoved Snotra from her seat!
Loki: *eyebrows furrowing* No one ever said it was against the rules.
Thor: *sighs* Okay, you know now. No more shoving people off their seats.
Loki: *smiles* Okay.
(Music starts again, everyone excepting Sif and Snotra walk around the chairs.)
Loki: *humming* Just walkin’, just walkin, walkin’, walkin’.
(Music stops. Loki spies Forseti jumping for a seat. He snaps and Forseti disappears, Loki sitting down with no competition.)
Loki: THOR! *giggles* What is this, another game?
Thor: What did you do with Forseti?
Loki: *shrugs* Blipped him out of existence. *points finger at Thor accusingly* That wasn’t on the ‘no-no’ list of Musical Chairs.
Thor: *screams* You make this less fun to play!
Loki: *laughs maniacally* I was born to make it fun!
Odin: Loki, another ground rule: if you lose Musical Chairs, you bring Forseti back into existence.
Sif: *sighs* Forseti was a good guy when he existed.
(music starts again, everyone but Snotra, Sif, and Forseti walk around the table.)
Baldr: (poutily) ‘Tis all fun and games until the god of fun and games makes the fun of games not all fun and games.
Loki: *comes up from behind, draws close creepily* (whispers) Can you say that ten times faster?
(music stops, all run for seats. Loki spots Baldr turning to sit. He snaps and the chair disappears from under him. Baldr lands hard on his behind and Loki makes the chair appear underneath him.)
Baldr: *rubbing bottom* LOKI!
Loki: (exasperatedly) BALDR!
Loki: *throws head back* THOR!!
Loki: *groans* ODIN!!!
Thor: From this point on in our game, no more of your magic tricks.
Loki: *taps fingers together evilly* *smirks* I’ll play your game, Thunderer.
(music starts again. All excepting those who are out walk around the table.)
Thor: (to Odin) Father, for the good of our friend, Forseti, and the name of all Æsir, we have to beat Loki in this game.
Odin: *rubs chin* Yes, but we must do it fair and square.
Loki: *appears in between them, faces Odin while walking backwards* (giddily) Wanna see if that’s possible, huh?
(music stops, all run for seats. Idunn grabs for one chair, but Loki pushes a clunky remote button, and she is entrapped in a net. She screams as he takes her seat)
Thor: I’LL KILL YOU, LOKI!
Loki: NO, YOU WON’T, THOR, YOU DUMMY HEAD!
Thor: *wields Mjölnir*
Loki: *inches chair back*
Odin: Thor! He didn’t use magic. Just cunning.
Loki: *with fingers, makes an angel halo around his head*
Thor: I swear, Loki. When I win I’ll-
Loki: *flicks Thor’s nose* No one said you were winning.
(Music starts and stops, one by one all but Thor and Loki become out.)
Thor: Now, there’s one chair left, Loki. It’s between you and me. When I win, you have to bring Forseti back into existence. Oh, and I don’t think Mother is having a good time partying with your daughter in Helheim, and-
Loki: *throws hands up* I get it! If you win, I place everything as it was. But when I win I get to
play every game with you for eternity!
Thor: *eyes widen* What kind of deal did I make?
Odin: *pats Thor’s back* Okay, here’s the game plan: Make Loki cry!
Thor: Whoo! I like that plan!
(music starts, Loki and Thor circle the table, glaring venomously at the other.)
Sif: Avenge me, honey!
Sigyn: I didn’t like the way you broke my arm to get to my seat, but, I BELIEVE IN YOU, LOKI!
(music stops, Thor and Loki run for the last seat. Before Thor can triumphantly places his rear on the cushion, Loki slips a food platter onto the cushion and makes Thor slide off, falling to the floor. Loki sits.)
Snotra: I ALWAYS LOVED YOU, FORSETI! I ALWAYS HAVE!
Thor: MOMMY EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Loki: *smirks* Anyone up for charades?