Old Things Die (But Not Us) -- Chapter five and a half: Entry 15

Fiction By Madalyn Clare // 12/11/2018

Dear Levi,

I have absolutely no doubt at all that Devika’s nice, so why do I feel the way I do? I just don’t even, at this point, think that I want to meet her. It’s not fair of me; I don’t even know her.
I guess that’s my problem. Since when did you have a crush on anyone, much less Devika D’Souza? I think, if I’ve heard anyone talk about a girl, it’s Devika. She’s, like, every guy’s ideal. Were you just too embarrassed to tell me?
Do guys even talk about it with other guys? I can’t tell.
I’m sorry, Levi, but I’m upset. Not for any real reason other than I missed out on this milestone in your life and you didn’t tell me about it when we had all that time to catch up. And then, when I asked, you said nothing still. I don’t get it.
I’m sorry again. You don’t deserve to be mad at. I’ll bet you just forgot and it’d be really wrong of me to just not forgive you for that. I’ve noticed that giving someone the benefit of a doubt feels really nice, especially when your dad hardly forgives you for getting home just a little late. Especially when your dad beats you up for it, too.
I know that I've already forgiven you, but that doesn't take away the pain. Forgiving somebody is just taking out the thorn, not healing it.
I guess I just have to be angry first. This is the first time that I’m actually disappointed, so I’ll let it be a milestone for a rare occasion.

Your friend,
Josh

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