An Absurd Collection of Poems

A Poem By Maddi // 9/11/2012

My Family

My house is full of nuts,
But I’m the klutiest klutz.

My sister drives me up the wall,
My brother, gee, he’s the craziest
Of all!

My dad’s a worrywart,
My mum’s the cheery sort,
And my twin is the one always in court.

What a funny family are we;
But I love my great, big family!

Woe to Me,

Woe to me, I am so excessively tired
Because my last dentist
Appointment has expired.

Why dentists
And mentalists
Have anything in common
I don’t know;
Woe to me,

Woe to me, woe;
I have to miss the fairy show!
Why this dreadful punishment
I don’t know,
Probably because I’ve stubbed my toe;
Woe, to me,


The market prices have gone straight over the hill;
Oh, how on earth am I going to pay the bill?

The gas,
The electricity,
Oh, the complicity!

The food,
The water,
Oh, the disorder!

The decorations,
The lights,
Oh, the late nights!

How on earth will I ever survive?
I really do want to be left alive!


Wheatbix, rice bubbles, cornflakes too,
I feel like a cow,
Shouting ‘moo!’

And what about a delightful pancake?
That’s another decision I have to make.

Why not try fruit and oats?
At least they aren’t
Drawn from a moat.

The babushka dolls are
Staring at me funny,
I think I inherited this fooling
Around from my mummy.

Next time I make breakfast,
Beside my little bust,
I shall remember
To add a little cucumber, I must, I must.


haha, very funny! :D I am soo

haha, very funny! :D
I am soo not good at writing poetry that rhymes and makes sense....:)

Sarah Anne | Tue, 09/11/2012

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths

Go to my blog and follow it:
:) for my sake, follow


Maddi, I liked your poems. You have a great sense of humor! One small thing: the line about being in court made no sense to me!Sorry for being so long about getting back to you on my profile picture. It comes from an artist's website. Her name is Melanie Delon. You should find the page if you just type her name in a search engine.
P.S How did you discover apricotpie?

Kathleen | Tue, 09/11/2012

Thanks Sarah! It comes quite

Thanks Sarah! It comes quite naturally to me, I guess! :)

Kathleen: The line about being in court was a bit vague, I have to agree. But its meant to mean that my twin (I DON'T have one in real life) is always in trouble. You guys over there in the States might use a different word for "court", I have no idea.
Thankyou! I went to her website; could you please tell me which category its under? ie, news, published, gallery etc. Thanks, that would be helpful. And I love your name. Kathleen. Sounds really awesome! is it your real name?

Oh, Mum, ages ago, searched for writing webs for homeschoolers, and she found AP. I wasn't interested in writing until this year, and I had another look at it. I was reading everybody's work months before I joined! Then I wanted to be part of the AP community, and publish my writings. I was so excited when James admitted me! And haven't regretted it. :D

EDIT: Can you tell me which one of these are you favourite? That'd be great.

Maddi | Tue, 09/11/2012

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Hilarious poems, Maddi! You

Hilarious poems, Maddi! You have a great sense of humor. :) I like all of them--it's too difficult to choose my favorite of all. Great job!

Lucy Anne | Wed, 09/12/2012

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Delightful Pancake?

I love that line, Delightful Pancake. Good job Maddi.

Arthur | Thu, 09/13/2012

"My greatest wish for my writing is that it would point you to the Savior."


Thanks Lucy!

Arthur: Thanks! My dad has a reputation for cooking pancakes in our family. I almost like cooking them more than eating them! We have this special "pancake music" that we play when making them. You gotta love family tradition! And thanks for commenting :D

Maddi | Sat, 09/15/2012

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh