A Day in the Life of Sam Part 2

Fiction By Maddi // 8/5/2012

The girl, called Sky, stood there with her mouth hanging straight open. Recovering her composure, she replied with as much dignity as she could muster. ‘Well, I’d like to ask the same to you.’ she said in a husky tone.

‘Well, I—I’m, uh, applying for a job here!’ stuttered Sam.

‘Huh! I can’t believe my best friend wouldn’t tell me about something like that!’ Sky retorted, flipping her glossy brown hair over her shoulder and combing it back into a ponytail.

Sam hung her head. ‘I guess I just wanted to have it over and done with before I told you; that’s all.’

‘Me too.’

Sam’s confusion must have shown in her face, for Sky hurriedly added: ‘I’m applying for a job here too; and I kinda wanted to know whether or not I had got the job before I told you.’

There was an awkward silence; well, as much as there can be in a café. With people slurping their milkshakes, and kitchen staff shouting orders to each other, there wasn’t much of a silence at all!

‘I guess holidays must be a bad time for communicating, huh?’ Sam smiled as she broke the silence.

Sky smiled back, which turned into a grin, then a giggle, and then it turned into a whole-hearted laugh! ‘Still best friends?’ she offered, holding out her pinkie.

Sam laughed. ‘Always!’ they locked their pinkies together and stuck their thumbs out; their special handshake.
After exchanging various comments about what they were wearing, what they had been doing during the winter holidays the conversation grinded to a halt.

‘Well, I guess the people interviewing us should call us soon,’ Sky remarked.
‘Yeah.’

Just at the moment, a rather chubby lady in her mid-fifties with sandy-blonde hair bustled up behind them.
‘I’se be trusting you gals are Samantha Miller and Sky Bronze?’

Sam could see that Sky was just about to explode with laughter over the lady’s Canadian accent, (which, she had to admit, did sound pretty funny) so she answered for both of them. ‘Yes ma’am, that’s us!’
The chubby lady, quite satisfied with her answer, politely inquired, ‘And I also trust that you two both have your résumés?’
Sky, who had recovered her composure, nodded quickly.
‘Well then follow me!’
The chubby lady led the way over to a back door at the end of the café. It had slip of paper stuck to it with sticky tape that had ‘STAFF ONLY’ scrawled on it in black permanent marker. The chubby lady introduced herself. ‘Well gals, mah name is Mandie. Amanda Deborah Tucker. I started this café twenie years back, before you’s gals was born. Anyways, o’course, folks ‘round here just call me Sandi, ‘cos ‘o mah sandy blonde hair.’

Sky piped up. ‘Ohhh yes, you’ve lovely sandy-blonde hair.’
Sam rolled her eyes. Yep, that was Sky for you, she reflected. Always trying to get into people’s good books.

Sandi beamed, revealing a mouth of missing teeth. ‘Why thankyou mah dear,’ she said, chuckling to herself. ‘It’s been that way ever since I’s was born. But come now ma dears, I think we’s got a couple of interviews on our hands.’

******* ********** ********* ******* ********* ****** ************* *********** **

At the dinner table that night, everyone was talking at once as usual. Mr Miller kept retelling the story of how Cooper had beaten everyone in his age group at high jump that day at Little A’s. Ainsley hadn’t done quite as well; but Mrs Miller congratulated them both all the same. Liam had lost against the other team in his football match, but Ben’s had flogged their opposition. Mrs Miller and Tina had quite a productive time at the farmer’s market; and so on and so on.

Sam toyed with her green peas, burying them in the mashed potato, which had tomato sauce streaks all through it. Mrs Miller noticed. ‘Oh, honey how was your job interview today?’ Sam looked up. ‘Oh it was okay.’ Liam elbowed his sister in the ribs. ‘So, secret agent, how did the mission go?’ he pretended to whisper, but said in such a loud voice the whole family could hear. After the laughter subsided, Sam yielded.
‘Alright, you win. Well, uh, it was pretty good. The lady who interviewed me was called Mandie, the actual person who started the café. But she said to just call her Sandi, because everyone calls her that on account of her blonde hair. She has this really funny accent, and always calls us ‘mah dears’.’

‘Us?’ Liam had a quizzical look on his face.
‘Sky’s applying for a job there too. Anyways, Sandi asked me a couple of questions, and then all I had to do was fill out this form and then it was over,’ she added quickly.

Mr Miller raised his finger as if to ask a question. ‘And so when do you get to know if you get the job?’

‘I don’t know. I guess Mand—I mean Sandi, will just ring or email me if I get the job—or not.’
Mrs Miller nodded. ‘Yes, that’s how they usually do it, dear.’

Comments

Good

I actually think that this is a much improved chapter than last time! You had proper paragraphs and it was interesting. But, I wouldn't use the word chubby to describe a person. It sounds informal and maybe even offensive? Maybe you could use some other words like 'overweight' or 'plump'. I saw two exclamations that I think are not needed. ..."there wasn't much of a silence at all!". I saw another one too but I can't find it now without reading through the whole chapter again. But those both exclamations are both in the narration. Putting exclamation marks in conversations are usually alright...until it goes overboard and unrealistic, of course. I'll tell you if I think you're doing it. ;) You missed a period after Mr. but that is probably a typo. Oh, now I realize that you missed separating conversations towards the end of the chapter.

Nice progression of work! Post more soon!

Lucy Anne | Wed, 08/08/2012

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thankyou!

Thankyou very much! Here in Australia, our words and prefixes are slightly different. ie, we don't put a dot after the prefix 'Mr' any more. And we do use the word 'chubby' without it being offensive; but I guess I can see how it could be.

And yes, I probably was a little too generous with my exclamation marks; I can't even think where I used two! Oops, just used one......

Hey, do you really think I should keep writing this story? I kind of invented the story first, then thought of the characters to fit in with the plot. With experience, it's not a very good idea to do that. Is this really worth investing my time into? I would really appreciate your feedback. :)

Maddi | Wed, 08/08/2012

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Ooh, I didn't know that in

Ooh, I didn't know that in Australia those types of things are different! :) (I live in the States.)

About the exclamation marks, you never used two in one time, no. I just thought that there were two places that I thought that the exclamations were unnecessary.

I think that you can continue. It only will be worth investing your time into if you have a good plot, otherwise, it may be just a waste of time. But it is your choice. You will learn something out of it all no matter if you continue this or write something else. :)

Lucy Anne | Thu, 08/09/2012

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

OOhhh.

Thanks again Lucy for commenting. I don't think I'll write any more, even though it was fun. And hey, I still learnt something: how to write a story with all the proper paragraghs and everything! I did have a pretty good plot; but I think that I could be investing my time in anther story or something.

Ha, everyone here seems to live in the States! Well, Kyleigh lives in the Middle East, but apart from that......

YOu know, I bet I'm the only Aussie on AP!! Exciting... :D

Maddi | Thu, 08/09/2012

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

:)

I'm liking this! Unless you're just not feeling it, I'd love to have more chapters from you. :D Or any story, really. I'd love to read another one!

Our friend--who's ninety--moved to where we are from Australia many decades ago. I've heard lots of stories from her. :) Another woman, her friend, also moved here from Australia around the same time and they both ended up in the same place! It's so very neat. :D

You're doing a really good job. Oh, and I like Sandi! She's great. :o) You write her accent perfectly.

Anyways, good job.

-Homey
-----------

P.S. Hey, thanks for all your encouraging comments on Reaching Rachel! I really appreciate it.

Madeline | Thu, 08/09/2012

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Thankyou!

Wow, this was so encouraging! I think I might just write more...... but it won't be first on my list! And your so welcome! I just love how your writing the rachel story. Thanks a heap! <3

Maddi | Thu, 08/09/2012

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Good!

Good! Waiting for more!

Kassady | Fri, 08/10/2012

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

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