More of Me

A Poem By Maddi // 9/7/2015

1. Been Too Long, So It's Too Late

I feel like I’m licking the spoon till I’m getting wooden
Splinters in my tongue.
I feel like no matter how hard I rub that moisturizer in,
The cuts will still crack open.
I feel like everything inside—
Every thought, every feeling, every little bit of me—
Was about to spill open and be free and wonderful and beautiful,
But instead it bottled up till it could no more,
Then seeped out, slowly,
So very slowly

And I could make no use of it.

2. Not Enough

I.

I haven't had enough
Which is strange, when you think about it
When the thing I haven't had enough of is me
Myself
And, and
It hasn't been enough
To be me

II.

I haven't spent time with me lately
It's everyone else, do something for someone else
Do my hair for sake of practicality
Make sure my lip colour isn't too dark for fear of offending someone
Dress right so no one thinks I'm homeless
Present myself properly for the convenience of a colleague
In a society of such easy judgement, it's hard to do anything
Right
To do anything for one's own sake
I just haven't
I haven't dressed up purely for me
I haven't worn my hair out in so long

So then, dear
Shall we do it, tomorrow?
It's worth trying, dear self.

3. It's Those Little Things

Wearing a tear in my jeans
Buying ones with rips already in them
(and yes, I do like it and I WILL pay for it)
Running my fingers through my hair

Buying a little something, just for a treat
Sharing a secret joke with someone
A smart chat with a customer,
(By the way, sir, your smile was too flirty for your own good).
A second glance because of something in my eyes
They call it confidence, I believe
It's all those little things

Wearing only a t-shirt till 11pm because its warm enough
Waking at the crack of dawn
Just to sit
And praise God because of His abundant love
(thankyou, Awesome Father)
Having perfectly painted toes
So every-time I peel my socks, sweaty and disgusting
I get that surprising little feel of girly satisfaction

It's those little things,
So insignificant,
Such little undermining triffles,
By themselves,
But put together,
Joined, linked, arm in arm
They make a small army
A small army strong enough to lift the earth
Spin it on their fingertips
And make the world go round

4. Right Now

Ah, well
I guess I've emptied enough now
I hope you didn't mind
My "talking" poems
It's 9:40pm now
I have to get up come morning
Because, as reality says,
The turmoil starts afresh, in the morrow.

Comments

MADDI. HI. HOW ARE YOU.

MADDI. HI. HOW ARE YOU.

These were so lovely and perfect and the most vivid illustrations of life that I've read on here in a long while. I just adored every bit of your wording in Been Too Long, So It's Too Late. Something about that was just so wonderful. I just love that. It hit me hard.

The rest are so perfect as well. I can't express how fantastic these are, Maddi. Your best work! I thought It's Those Little Things was so relatable, and I just saw everything you described. I saw these poems, actually saw them, and that's so rare. Especially here: So every-time I peel my socks, sweaty and disgusting/I get that surprising little feel of girly satisfaction

I can't tell you how much I loved these. AND YAY. YOU'RE BACK.

Madeline | Mon, 09/07/2015

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Oh, jeez, number one is

Oh, jeez, number one is torture to read, because it's just so real and true.

Sarah Bethany | Mon, 09/07/2015

Oh, my gosh, and "It's Those

Oh, my gosh, and "It's Those Little Things" is so extremely powerful, in its positivity and solidness. I almost wanted to lift my arm and shout, "Hurray!" and raise up the earth myself. Thank you so so much for this. It was another one I felt the impulse to share on Facebook. It's just so true and hopeful and beautiful. I love the sweaty sock part.
(Sorry, I'm reading these piecemeal in the midst of my own editings, lol.)

Sarah Bethany | Mon, 09/07/2015

These are your best, Maddi!

These are your best, Maddi! The first one just broke my heart in the best way possible. You have grown so much as a writer. I love it.

Erin | Mon, 09/07/2015

"You were not meant to fit into a shallow box built by someone else." -J. Raymond

WOW!

Wow Maddi this was amazing! Especially the part about the little things, you wrote this so well, I wouldn't change a thing because it all seems to speak entirely you! Love you lot's Sis

Mikki xx

Mikaela Grace | Tue, 09/08/2015

Do Justice//Love Mercy//Walk Humbly

Oh girls, your comments

Oh girls, your comments lifted my spirits SO much.
Homey!! I missed you! I am well, I think :) Thankyou so much for your beautiful comment.
Sarah Bethany again?!? Yay!! My heart leapt when I saw you'd commented. Thanks!

Erin, your comment is my favourite. To hear (see, really) those words "You have grown so much as a writer" really rang home for me. Thank you, from the absolute sincerest bottom of my heart.

Thanks Mikki x

Maddi | Tue, 09/08/2015

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

:)

Well, first, I love the title of this set. More of me. There are so much description and metaphors in here! I love how the 1st one talked about cracks opening, and then your feelings coming out in little pieces...cracks. But what do you mean that you cannot make most use of it because it came so slowly? I guess that is just what forces us to stop and read again the whole poem.

I also love how you reveal yourself and your feelings that you have been really busy without quiet time with yourself. Alot of people can relate to that!
And oh my, number 3?! That last stanza?!
"Such little undermining triffles,
By themselves,
But put together,
Joined, linked, arm in arm
They make a small army
A small army strong enough to lift the earth
Spin it on their fingertips
And make the world go round"

That was so poetic...all these little gifts from God that makes the world a joyful place and easier to go through despite the busyness! Maddi, you are definitely starting to define and develop your own writing style!

Lucy Anne | Thu, 09/10/2015

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I haven't spent time with me lately" this entire set is amazing, but that one is outstanding. Can't even explain how much I love it!

Emilee | Mon, 09/21/2015

A poem begins as a lump in the thoat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness -Robert Frost
Emilee @ http://fantasticalpaperrealm.blogspot.com/

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