Will it be Calduura or Dosima?

Fiction By Marlene E. Schuler // 4/16/2011

Oh, thou fellow apricots, I need thy assistence! I know NaNoWriMo is months away, but I want to be ready with my plot, characters, everything. You can tell I'm a newbie, can't you? 

Anyway, I had originally thought to write about Dosima, a place I created years ago. The story has changed considerably from its conception, and it's even a finished story. But I'm not happy with it. I want to completely re-write it (and I don't usually do this) into something much better. Instead of being called "Dosima: The Entarus", it would be shortened into simply, "Entarus". So, here's the story in a can: 

When King Edouard leaves Dosima in the hands of his younger brother Ethelred to go on a saving mission to a land across the Ocean Sea, the land falls into ruin as Ethelred is corrupted by an evil draconic.
Meanwhile, a small town, Longly, wants to fight back against the injustice of Prince Elthelred and sends some of its people to search for a once-great band of warriors called the Dagon. But when its discovered that these heroes are either dead or missing, its up to the people of Longly to found another order of warriors:
The Entarus

Then, another fantasy tale has been spinning it's webs in my head for almost two years now. It started out as a silly movie my friends and I did, but since then, it's turned into full-blown epic in my head. It's called: "The Archway of Calduura". Here's this story's summary: 

There were twelve kings once. They ruled over the people of the perfect world of Calduura, a magical land where no one grows old and happy endings always happen. But when a young woman from another world comes and the two eldest kings fall in love with her, the harmony of the dream-like world is upset. It is destroyed completely when King Samuel leaves Calduura with his love and promies her never to return. The other king, Regis, the supreme ruler of all Calduura, falls into a deep sadness while one of the twelve palaces is left vacant. Two crafty men from the lesser and unruly regions, Leachim and Bobcaj, take advantage of King Regis' condition and overturn everything that the twelve kings sought to protect. Several of the other kings are sent into exile, and are forced to live as outlaws in the vast forest of Silvanstella, where they form a band of secretive rangers.

Meanwhile, two young people from our world -Anthony Davan and Frances Port- accidently come across the cave in which the entrance to Calduura lies. And so begins a tale of incredible daring, high adventure and mighty battles. Anthony discovers that his father is actually the missing king of Calduura, and has to live up to his father's role as he fights against the tyranny of Leachim and Bobcaj. However, he falls in love with the quirky yet demure Fran as she tries her best to fit into the world of Calduura.

 

Which one do you think has more potential? (I only have more from Calduura because I haven't written a polished summary yet.) I can't decide, and I need your help! : ) 

Comments

I think the second one is

I think the second one is better. Much more unique

Julie | Sat, 04/16/2011

Formerly Kestrel

Good.

I was hoping someone would like Calduura better. There's something so much better about it than Dosima... perhaps, one day, I'll do something with Dosima, but I do need to move on. No reason to be melancholic about it! ; ) Say, I did a little bit of Calduura to see how it'd come along, and so here's a little exert: 

  Frances Port raised her eyes to the heavens. It wasn't the first time she had done so that day, and it would not be the last. Perhaps she was looking up to ease her eyes from all the black everyone was wearing. Or maybe it was only to escape the reality she now faced. If she looked down, she would see two open graves that woudl someday be marked with her parent's names.

  Last week, her life was just the same as it always had been: the same dormitory of the same girl's school she had known all her seventeen years. But a telephone call from some lawyer had changed everything. It was in the early hours of the morning that she had found out her parents had been in a collision with a drunk driver on their way to meet her. They had died minutes before the paramedics could reach them.

People started to filter away from the graves...

However, before I make a final choice, I would like a few more opinions. Any other thoughts? 

Marlene E. Schuler | Sat, 04/16/2011

Visit yon blob of literary adventureness!
www.charlieandmewrite.blogspot.com

My Opnion.

Add the two together becuase I've read books like each of them on their own but not together. plus it is always good to have multiple kingdoms in a world. for example

When King Edouard leaves Dosima in the hands of his younger brother Ethelred to go on a saving mission to  Calduura across the Ocean Sea, the land falls into ruin as Ethelred is corrupted by an evil draconic.

There were twelve kings once. They ruled over the people of the perfect world of Calduura, a magical land where no one grows old and happy endings always happen. But when a young woman from another world comes and the two eldest kings fall in love with her, the harmony of the dream-like world is upset. It is destroyed completely when King Samuel leaves Calduura with his love and promies her never to return. The other king, Regis, the supreme ruler of all Calduura, falls into a deep sadness while one of the twelve palaces is left vacant. Two crafty men from the lesser and unruly regions, Leachim and Bobcaj, take advantage of King Regis' condition and overturn everything that the twelve kings sought to protect. Several of the other kings are sent into exile, and are forced to live as outlaws in the vast forest of Silvanstella, where they form a band of secretive rangers.

Meanwhile, a small town, Longly, wants to fight back against the injustice of Prince Elthelred and sends some of its people to search for a once-great band of warriors called the Dagon. But when its discovered that these heroes are either dead or missing, its up to the people of Longly to found another order of warriors:
The Entarus

 

Meanwhile, two young people from our world -Anthony Davan and Frances Port- accidently come across the cave in which the entrance to Calduura lies. And so begins a tale of incredible daring, high adventure and mighty battles. Anthony discovers that his father is actually the missing king of Calduura, and has to live up to his father's role as he fights against the tyranny of Leachim and Bobcaj. However, he falls in love with the quirky yet demure Fran as she tries her best to fit into the world of Calduura.

Fran could of coarse end up as part of the Entarus

Micheala | Mon, 04/18/2011

Huh.

That would get so complicated... it would be interesting to have both my lands in the same yarn, but if I tried to combine all those loose threads and weave them all together... it would blow my mind! I would imagine it would be tough enough to overcome a mental block whilst writing your alloted number of words a day during the contest, but fusing two distinctly different worlds would be even tougher! 

You see, Dosima is a 'set' kingdom: it is a fantasy world all of it's own, and no other worlds or portals are part of it. You can't get in, you can't get out, even with magic. Basically, it's a medieval world (like earth in the middle ages), but there are interesting beasts roaming about.

Then, Calduura is a complex world that is part of our own. Unexplainably so, however, because it's not a different dimension or a state of the mind: it's a place, like heaven and hell, but it's just somewhere else and not seen. You can get in it, and you can get out of it, using the one and only portal: the Archway (located in Calduura) connected to the cave (located in our world).

Does that make sense...? 

Marlene E. Schuler | Mon, 04/18/2011

Visit yon blob of literary adventureness!
www.charlieandmewrite.blogspot.com

Calduura definitely strikes

Calduura definitely strikes me as more original, and as the book I'd be more likely to pick up in the library. It seems as if you already have a good idea of the characters as well.

Anna | Tue, 04/26/2011

I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right. --The Book Thief

My mind is made up!

Now I'm most certainly going to write about Calduura! Fran and Anthony, here I come! The only hard thing will be having to wait 'till November to write about them. Oh well! I shall perservere and ruminate on the tale until that day! 

Thanks, Anna! And everyone else, too! 

Marlene E. Schuler | Tue, 04/26/2011

Visit yon blob of literary adventureness!
www.charlieandmewrite.blogspot.com