Air

Fiction By Mikaela Grace // 7/14/2014

I looked out the window at what appeared to be the end of the world. Dull clouds hung up in the sky made the day all so gloomy, and billowing grey smoke rose from big towering factories that seemed to be covering the whole city. There was no grass about, and the only animals around were dogs being taken out for a walk, not even wild birds bothered to visit this city, and when you breathed in the air, it smelt man made, not fresh like the air back home on the farm. I tried to look for colour, there was none, only the old scrappy peeling paint on the factory walls. It was horrible, anyone living here would most likely die of either suffocation or lack of colour…and natural plantation. It was awful here. I was then forced out of the car, and as soon as I stepped out I felt like the air was choking me, I was suffocating, and my head started to feel extremely hot.
I then awoke with a start, awkwardly enough; my head was under the pillow.

Comments

Ha! I liked this. The only

Ha! I liked this. The only thing is that in the beginning I would say "appeared to be" instead of "appeared like".
Keep up the good work! I love your descriptive powers, something I don't appear to have.....yet. =)
God bless you!

Damaris Ann | Mon, 09/15/2014

"It is the small temptations which undermine integrity unless we watch and pray and never think them too trivial to be resisted."
-Luisa May Alcott

Hey sister!

I really really enjoyed this! You are doing so well with descriptive writing, it's seriously shocking me.
"awkwardly enough" Hahahahaha! Made me laugh, dear!
Keep writing!

Maddi | Wed, 09/17/2014

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Thanks for the help, I will

Thanks for the help, I will change it to "Appeared to be". I really find it helpful when people pick up on my spelling mistakes and tell me :)

And Thanks Maddi for the encouragement!

Mikaela Grace | Sun, 09/21/2014

Do Justice//Love Mercy//Walk Humbly

No problem! I love all of

No problem! I love all of your stories so far.
Keep up the good works!
Oh, and I love your quote! It reminds me of one of the old "Lilliput" cartoons with Gaby. :)

Damaris Ann | Mon, 09/22/2014

"It is the small temptations which undermine integrity unless we watch and pray and never think them too trivial to be resisted."
-Luisa May Alcott

Thanks, I actually don't know

Thanks, I actually don't know where the quote came from because it said, "Anonymous" at the bottom of it!

Mikaela Grace | Tue, 09/23/2014

Do Justice//Love Mercy//Walk Humbly

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