The Magician of Iglis, Prologue - The Details

Fiction By Sarah Anne // 10/23/2012

Tell me if your interested in reading anymore :) And I'll post more if you are :) I am certainly changing the title when I think of a new one. :) Btw, I'm up to 3410 words :D And working on the third chapter :D By the way, this SHALL be edited ... :)

Prologue - The Details
I remember that day better than any day that I ever remember. I remember every detail, yes, every detail. Really, I remember every detail of every day.
I had woken up late in the night to my dog, Hodges, barking. He was always so stupid, but I loved him all the same. Man, I remember how irritated I was when I woke up that morning. I wanted to go bang that dogs head with an iron frying pan -- really, I did, but I thought better of it. I went outside to shut him up, and when I came back inside, I made myself some hot chocolate. Mmm...I can taste it now ... really, it was the best hot chocolate I had ever had .. but that was in my own humble opinion. It was freezing cold outside, in fact, it was exactly -20 degrees outside. Okay, I will tell you this about me. I am one of those people that literally remembers everything. Literally. I am. I have what people call "Photographic Memory", Maybe even a little bit more memory than most people who have Photographic Memory, sometimes I say I have 'perfect memory'. I do extremely well in school, I am a straight A student, some would even call me a genius. I am the most popular girl and have the best looking boy in school for my boy friend. Yes, and I am fifteen years old. I have, literally, thirty-eight friends in Town. I have exactly ten in New Mexico (that was the place that I first went surfing, and I started my surfing at exactly 9 a.m, okay, well, that is another story.) I have fifteen in Hawaii, and fourteen in Idaho. I remember all of their addresses, phone numbers, birthdays, hobbies and names -- even the order of when I first got them each as friends. Here, let me give you a little bit about myself,
Hello!
I am fifteen years old, I grew up in New Mexico for the first three years, two months, fifteen days, five hours, two minutes, ten seconds and one millisecond of my life. I remember that part specifically. I did my first surf at age two and three months, six days (yada yada yada?), -- my dad was with me. okay, anyways, you get the picture.
I went to live in Hawaii next, that was until I was nine years, one month, four days, nine hours, two minutes, seven seconds and three milliseconds of my life. I enjoyed Hawaii extremely, the scenery was beautiful, and the surfing was great! I loved our house, it was not a plain house at all; very ornamented, and extremely huge... and by the beach. I, to this day, still remember exactly every detail of the house when we got there and when we left it. To the last smudge on the wall.
Then, I went to live in Idaho, that was fun, I got to ice skate five months out of the year on natural ice. I was exactly twelve years, seven months, five days, twenty four minutes, fifteen seconds and one millisecond when we left Idaho. You know, when we crossed the border.
Now, I am exactly, at the time I am writing this, fifteen years, one month, one day, seven hours, one minute and four milliseconds. that is changed now, but anyways.
I now live in St. Louis Missouri, it is huge. Believe me.. it is just so huge. I hate it, at least I partially hate it. I have a love-hate relationship with St. Louis. Literally.
You should see all the doodlings I do, there are exactly one hundred and ten doodlings. I know what they all look like. They are pretty cool, too. I like to just doodle, even if it is a simple scribble, I still remember the exact shape and stuff.
So you get me? I have a photographic memory. I have a love-hate relationship with that, too. I mean, I can just LOOK at something, literally, and I never, ever forget it. Like that day I was going to tell you about? Yes, just wait till you hear it.

Comments

Hmm...

It seemed like there were a lot of "really"s and "literally"s and repeated sentences that were only there to add to the wordcount. Other than that it was pretty good.

Aalen Fideli | Tue, 10/23/2012

Music I created
[updated]

Whoa....

That's a lot of info in one hit, but it was alright. You should cut down on the remember's, really's and maybe a little of the literally's. So, this piece needs some editing. But I like it! I laughed: " He was always so stupid, but I loved him all the same." Good humour, I find that with some dogs. I like the plot, and I would love to read more. God bless

P.S. Is this supposed to be a girl's diary?

Maddi | Tue, 10/23/2012

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?” – Winnie The Pooh

Thanks! :) I re-read it and

Thanks! :) I re-read it and there WERE a lot of Literally's and Really's xD I'll certainly edit it sometime soon :) And thanks for the comments, too! :D As soon as I have more posts, I'll post chapter one :D
~Sarah

Sarah Anne | Wed, 10/24/2012

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths

P.S
Go to my blog and follow it: Sarahanneandrews.wordpress.com
:) for my sake, follow

:)

Splendid, Sarah. Absolutely splendid. I love it. It is just so humorous. I wanted to go bang that dogs head with an iron frying pan -- really, I did, but I thought better of it. I began smiling right there -- my smile was getting bigger and bigger as I finished this.

I think that it's okay to put in all those really's, literally's, etc if that is how your character talks. Different is always better and your readers will remember this chapter because she spoke differently. As a writer, you should always find ways to be unique. But if you're adding it to make a certain word count, don't. Put them in. Take them out. Excellent writers use strong nouns and strong verbs and as little words as possible.

But I want more; great humor, your writing is improving like craz', Sarah, it really is--I want you to know that.

Blessings and Love, Megan

Lucy Anne | Wed, 10/24/2012

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

This story has great

This story has great potential. I can't wait to read what happens next. Please do post more!

Elizabeth Anne | Fri, 10/26/2012

See him with his books:
Tree beside the brooks,
Drinking at the root
Till the branch bear fruit.
See him with his pen:
Written line, and then,
Better thought preferred,
Deep from in the Word.
~John Piper

Megan: Thank you sooo much!!

Megan: Thank you sooo much!! :D <3 your sooo encouraging!! :) Thanks a lot! I'll be posting more as soon as possible, but I don't have any more posts yet :P
Elizabeth: Thanks a whole bunch!! :D
~Sarah

Sarah Anne | Fri, 10/26/2012

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths

P.S
Go to my blog and follow it: Sarahanneandrews.wordpress.com
:) for my sake, follow

Interesting start

You did an excellent job at drawing your readers in (at least, you drew me in). I was so curious about what your character was going to tell us about that day that I continued on to read the first chapter before commenting.

I would ordinarilly advise against telling so much about the protaganist's life in the prologue, but it was great in this case because it set up the protaganist's personality: a narrative person who remembers way too much. By the end, I was extremely annoyed with the protaganist's rabbit-trails and memory, but even though I was annoyed, you made her still likeable. Great job.

In certain cases, you left out the apostrophe where one was called for.

Over all, great start to the story. Keep writing!

Benjamin | Sun, 10/28/2012

“D’ye know what Calvary was? What? What? What? It was damnation; and he took it lovingly.”
~John Duncan

Thank you Ben, :) I

Thank you Ben, :) I aprecciate your comment! :D
And I'll fix those mistakes when I have time to :D
~Sarah

Sarah Anne | Tue, 10/30/2012

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths

P.S
Go to my blog and follow it: Sarahanneandrews.wordpress.com
:) for my sake, follow

So this is a NaNo...

So this is a NaNo story? It's really good so far and I can't wait to read more. I don't know when I'll be able to get around to reading all of it I have an ever growing list of things to finish reading:
Reaching Rachel
Great Expectations
The Great Gatsby (I'll be glad when that's over)
Les Miserables (SO CLOSE!)
Decoy (a good book writen by a friend)
The Sorceress (A FANTASTIC SERIES BY AN AUTHOR WHO I CANT REMEMBER SO HELP ME!!!)
The Magician of Inglis (Just started *wink, wink*)
I think there a few others... but that's what I have so far... LOL! I definitely put it up into the Les Miserables and Great Expectation catagories though ;)!
Good job! Can't wait to read.

Kassady | Tue, 12/11/2012

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

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