Rumpelstiltskin in Bible Style, chap. 6

Fiction By Sarah Anne // 6/21/2012

Chapter Six

1. And she called unto her a man named Joab, and said unto him, "give me a very long list of names, and even the most uncommon."

2. And he gave searched far and wide, and found twenty and five hundred names to give unto the queen.

3. And she slept soundly, for in the morn, she would surely have said his name unto him.

4. And when the little man came, she called unto him all the names, but none were his.

5. And she sighed, yet again she called unto her Joab, and said unto him the same as before.

6. And he came again with twenty and five hundred names, and she was sure she would know his name by the morn.

7. And when the little man came again, she called all the names unto him, and he again denied that any of those were his name.

8. And the queen sighed, having some doubt in her heart if she would guess it tomorrow.

9. And she called Joab unto her, and told him to yet again search far and near for names, and to find more.

10. And he went out, and as he was passing in the woods, he heard a voice singing.

11. And when he looked to inquire, he saw a little man dancing round a fire and singing thus,

12. "I shall have the queens child, for she shall not guess my name. Rumpelstiltskin is my name!"

13. And Joab rejoiced, and came unto the queen and told her all that he had heard, and she too rejoiced.

14. And when the little man came in the morn, she asked unto him a long list of names, and at the end she said unto him,

15. "Rumpelstiltskin? Is that your name?" And he stomped with such anger and rage that he made a hole in the floor and fell down, and was naught.

16. And the queen rejoiced, and made merry. And all the house with her.

MORE COMING SOON!! :D

Comments

Well

You seem to tend not to use apostrophes (') whenever it is needed....so yea, you should really do that.

I saw a capitalization error in the first verse.

OKAY, I am going to say this to you. Even though I don't really, REALLY like my friends to say this to me.... ;)

I think you're losing enthusiasm on writing this story. Sometimes the chapters are reeallly good, and sometimes, it lacks authenticity, and things like that. For example. This chapter had many things in it that the Bible wouldn't have. Sometimes you master it really well and sometimes... it gets dull after awhile. Because you can't really do much with a story that has been already written...unless you change it. Alot. I, unfortunately have learnt that the hard way with ADIJAD. Although I do not regret my year long journey with the Pevensies, I have learned my lesson.

I have really enjoyed awaiting each chapter to see what you would do next but I think it's time to write something else that will improve your writing more...like what Bernadette tried to say. I'm not saying that you don't write well in this format, I am just saying that if you want to improve your writing...this is not the exactly the way to go.

Hope you are not hurt.

So please mull over about what I said. But I really enjoyed reading this series!

Lucy Anne | Thu, 06/21/2012

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I haven't

I haven't really been following this story (though I need to! I haven't had much time to read, and it looks cool, and what a unique and smart idea!) but I saw Lucy Anne's comment and wanted to add: Don't write to please other people. Write to please yourself. If this is what you love doing, then do it. I know you will probably appreciate constructive criticism, and while it certainly helps to improve writing, still: if you like what you're doing with your writing, and what you write about, it doesn't matter what others say.

Okay! Well, just wanted to add that. I hope it doesn't seem like I'm trying to argue with Lucy Anne and belittle her comment, because I'm not. I have no place to critique this story, as I have read only parts of it. (Like I said, I want to read more--and soon!). But I saw her comment and wanted to add my own words of encouragement. :)

Thanks, both of you!
-Homey :-)

As my friend Kassady says: Write on!

Madeline | Thu, 06/21/2012

everything was better when/you would call and I'd be like/yeah babe, no way

Sorry

I am very sorry if I sounded like I wanted Sarah to stop writing this story. No, I just meant that if she wanted to improve her writing, I am not sure that this is the best way to go. Sarah, if you enjoy writing this story, that is completely fine with me and you should continue writing. Homey, that is a very good point: Never write for the audience. But what I was saying, Sarah, IF you wanted to improve your writing, but you would love to continue this series (which is completely fine) maybe you would like to make this a supplement to something else....or you might want to concentrate on this as one of your major projects and write something else on the side.

I'm sorry for not communicating correctly!

Lucy Anne | Thu, 06/21/2012

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Haha, I have an exscuse,

Haha, I have an exscuse, Megan -- it was 12 at night, I'm gonna re-write it. It does sound pretty un-enthusiastic now that I read it again, ROFL!! :D And it's perfectly fine that you told me ;)
~Sarah

p.s.
thanks, Homey :)

Sarah Anne | Thu, 06/21/2012

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths

P.S
Go to my blog and follow it: Sarahanneandrews.wordpress.com
:) for my sake, follow

I figured you were writing

I figured you were writing late at night. :D I'm glad you are not offended. ;)

EDIT: WHAT IS ROFL???

Lucy Anne | Thu, 06/21/2012

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

LOVED IT!!!

I LOVED IT! I LOVED IT! I LOVED IT!!!! No matter what anyone says, I thought it was creative, fantastic, amazing! GOOD JOB!!!!

Kassady | Thu, 06/21/2012

"Here's looking at you, Kid"
---
Write On!

Megan: Nope, not offended at

Megan: Nope, not offended at all ;) And ROFL means: Rolling on the floor laughing :D
Kass: LOL!! THANKS!! :) I think I'll keep this one up and write the chapter over on a new content ;)
Thanks again, y'all! :D
~Sarah

Sarah Anne | Thu, 06/21/2012

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths

P.S
Go to my blog and follow it: Sarahanneandrews.wordpress.com
:) for my sake, follow

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