Rumpelstiltskin in Bible Style, chap. 6 (REVISED!!!!!!)

Fiction By Sarah Anne // 6/22/2012

Okay, y'all ;)

Chapter Six

1. And Leah called unto her Joab, the son of Kish, a benjamite.

2. And said unto him, "go into all the world, and find thou every name both common and uncommon."

3. And Joab did that which she had told him, and he brought back unto her a list full of names.

4. And she was pleased, for surely one of these would be the name, and she should sleep well that night.

5. And when she awoke in the morn, lo, unto her appeared the little man, and he said unto her, "hast thou any names to ask of me?"

6. And she called unto him all the names, but he denied that any were his.

7. And she sighed, yet wot not whether she would guess it tomorrow.

8. And she called unto her Joab again, and told him to search through all the world to find another list.

9. And he returned, and gave unto Leah the names, and in the morn, she told them unto the little man.

10. Yet he again denied any of those to be his name.

11. And yet again she sent Joab to find more names, and see if there be any that be the little mans.

12. And when Joab was walking in the midst of the woods, he beheld a little man, and he wast dancing round a fire.

13. And he was singing thus, "I shall have the queens babe, for Rumpelstiltskin is my name."

14. And Joab rejoiced greatly, yet searched again for more names, and told them all, even Rumpelstiltskin, unto the queen.

15. And in the morn she asked of the little man all the names, and he said "nay" unto all of them, until she got to the last.

16. And when inquired if Rumpelstiltskin was his name, he was sore wrathful, and stamped his feet, and the floor gave way, and he was nought.

;)
Better?

Comments

10X better, Sarah! ;) Please

10X better, Sarah! ;)

Please remember to capitalize every first word in a dialogue.

eg. And said unto him, "go into all the world, and find thou every name both common and uncommon."

The go needs to be capitalized.

And when inquired if Rumpelstiltskin was his name, he was sore wrathful, and stamped his feet, and the floor gave way, and he was nought.

Then, aforesaid should be,...

And when inquired if Rumpelstiltskin was his name, he was sore wrathful, HE STOMPED his feet, and the floor gave way, and he was nought.

Otherwise, much, MUCH better, Sarah! :D

Lucy Anne | Fri, 06/22/2012

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thank you, Megan :) Alright,

Thank you, Megan :) Alright, I'll try to remember that for next time :)
~Sarah

Sarah Anne | Fri, 06/22/2012

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths

P.S
Go to my blog and follow it: Sarahanneandrews.wordpress.com
:) for my sake, follow

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