My first......

This sad little song is the first I've ever written. As it is already morbid enough, please let your comments be kind!
Helpful criticism will be much appreciated.

From Myself

A poem by Sarah Michal | 7/4/2008

From Myself

I run as fast as I can,
but still I cannot escape,
from the thought that I may have,
been the one who made all this shame,
(chorus)

Chorus:
And why am I, the one who is the loneliest creature in the earth?
Why should I, put up with this treatment, from the ones I called my friends?
Why should I, keep on living this dreary life?
When I, am so tired and scared and alone and shy and dying inside?
Why should I?

When I am weary, and all alone.
When I am weeping, but no one is here to
comfort me when I can’t see,
the good of all this pain.
(chorus)

Can’t someone see that I am suffering?
Doesn’t anyone know why I am haunted?
Why is nothing done, to save my life?
And to bring me, into the light?
(chorus)

But now I see, everything has a plan.
I survived life, not everyone has.
Everyone should be loved,
no one should go through what I have.
This pain I felt, this agony, I am not rid of it,
yet I am still free.
Death does not keep you from love,
it cannot be the end, we will meet again.
(2nd chorus)

2nd Chorus
And that is why, I am no longer the loneliest creature in the earth,
I understand, why life must be this way.
Though I’m still broken inside, I frequently cry out to You, to save me, You make me free, You save me from my agony, from myself.

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Anna | Mon, 07/07/2008 - 2:10pm

I like it, even if it is a little morbid. I especially like, "Though I’m still broken inside... You make me free, You save me from my agony, from myself."

Sarah Michal | Tue, 07/08/2008 - 1:55pm

Yeah, it's the most morbid song I've ever heard, actually. But, it's pretty good for a first time attempt, I think at least. :D
Your favorite lines, Anna, are also my, favorite lines. :P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The quality of mercy is not strain'd;
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice blessed;
It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes

Keri T. | Mon, 08/11/2008 - 4:06pm

Actually I write pretty morbid or depressing songs all the time. I thought it was good