The Duel of the Knives

A Poem By The Brit // 4/28/2009

Two knives who lay in a kitchenware drawer
Were, at one time, the very best friends
But as has been seen before
Friendship sometimes ends.

Neither were very sharp, you see
Nor either very bright
So dull as they were, they could only agree
On an honorable duel that night.

So while dog and canary were both asleep
They crept from the silverware
The fork set rules for them to keep
And suggested that they play fare.

They walked ten paces then turn to fight
And having no use for swords
They circled around in the candlelight
And beat each other with words

"You are nothing, you dull butter knife!"
Said the one, who was first to open.
"You weren’t sharpened once in you life."
"Ah, that’s only what you were hopin’."

They jumped at each other and fell away
As the steel and steel they clashed
With each flying leap a word they’d say
And dodged each time they slashed

The spoon and skillet with "Oo"s and "Ah"s
Were captured by sheer suspense
With each fall "Boo"s, each leap "Hurrah"s
Fork’s teeth chatter, things were so tense

Dog and Canary were now wide awake
But uttered no sound of protest
They only had questions and bets to make
And ask who was doing best

The crowd started talking and making noise
And were only recalled when one said,
"I say, what has happen boys?
Look, the knives have gone to bed!"



The knives--behave you two!!!
"Yes, words are useless! Gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble! Too much of it, darling, too much! That is why I show you my work! That is why you are here!" --Edna Mode (the Incredibles)

Ariel | Wed, 04/29/2009

"To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it." -- Herman Melville

Hey Brit, this was really

Hey Brit, this was really funny! Reminds me of "The Calico Cat and the Gingham Dog"...I think that's the title anyway. :0)

Anonymous | Wed, 04/29/2009

Yeah, I love that poem. I

Yeah, I love that poem. I was thinking of it when I wrote the poem. I'm glad that the knives went to bed, because I didn't want to turn the whole thing into a "Be nice, and love one another" sort of thing. I hate moralizing things, it usually ruins it.

"...And I'm Lukas, his evil spawn." my brother introducing himself, after my dad.

The Brit | Wed, 04/29/2009

You mean like a bad guy

You mean like a bad guy turning good? I hate when they do that in the movies. I want the bad guy to get what's coming to him! Love the poem, it's funny and the rythym is "practically perfect in every way".

"Oh lovely snowball, packed with care
Smack a head that's unaware.
Then with freezing ice to spare
Melt and soak through underwear!
Fly straight and true, hit hard and square.
This, oh snowball, is my prayer." - Calvin, from Calvin and Hobbes

Bridget | Wed, 04/29/2009

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

I love that poem. And I also

I love that poem. And I also hate bad guys turned to good. Grrr. That's what ruins a movie...or book....or play.....Anyway. Lovely poem.

It kind of reminds me of an old cartoon, that is no where to be found at the moment. It's about things that are lost in lakes and things, and there is a pocket-knife fighting with a butter knife or something like that. It's all rather amusing.

"Here are the beauties which pierce like swords or burn like cold iron." C.S.Lewis

airlia | Wed, 04/29/2009

"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God such men lived."
General George S. Patton

Oh dear...

Oh dear ... if you don't like bad guys who turn good, you'd better not read the novel I'm working on.
Anyway, great poem, Brit! The story was very cute and the rhyming was brilliant!!!
~Mary (who is also too lazy to sign in - I guess rainy days were just designed for being lazy)

Anonymous | Wed, 04/29/2009

Love it! What a cute and

Love it! What a cute and funny poem! For some reason it reminds me of stories by Hans Christian Anderson. Except it doesn't have a depressing end. :P


"We never need to be economical in our imaginations, thank heaven."
-Anne Blythe, "Anne of Ingleside"

KatieSara | Thu, 04/30/2009


"Are all humans like this? So much bigger on the inside?"

Whoa creepy. That was so

Whoa creepy. That was so wierd...It ROCKED! I loved it! Very well done!

I am Nate-Dude | Thu, 05/07/2009


Ha ha ha.

Hee hee. Funny, funny, funny. Great poem. Very well done. Greatly amusing.

Hey Airlia, I've seen that cartoon. It's so amusing. Who was the damsel in distress again?

Nate-dude: Creepy??? Creepy!? What are you talking about? So weird? It rocked?

"Borrowed, borrowed without permission. But with every intension of bringing it back to you?" Jack Sparrow

Alecia | Thu, 05/07/2009

It awoke with a shrill shreak that can be trnaslated "How dare you leave me in this bed, when I am asleep and helpless?" My sister

Oh, I just meant that it was

Oh, I just meant that it was a little wierd. But I loved it. it was too good.

I'm not taking the time to login. So this is Nate-Dude.

Anonymous | Wed, 05/20/2009


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