Chapter 1: Chased into the Dark…
The dust flew behind the hooves of the horses the men rode upon. The men wore long black cloths wrapped around their heads, with bare torsos and arms, tan full length pants and black swirling tattoos resembling wind that covered their arms and chest. “Come on! I got to lose these guys…” Thought Erik as the men chased him. He was running at full speed, but they were catching up to him. Erik knew he could not out run the men on horses, so turned around and faced them. One of the horsemen galloped towards him, he stood his ground, clenching both fists, now the man was only nine yards away. The head horseman drew a tremendous curved blade, holding it high in the air as he approached. Swinging the sword hard at Erik, Erik dodged the blow, grabbing the man’s arm. Erik took his blade and commandeering his horse, kicked the horse’s side and he was off. Erik rode as fast as he could, across the barren stone wasteland, the men now following close behind; Erik saw a gorge ahead of him. Erik leaned close to the horse’s head and said a short prayer. They left the ground behind them, for seconds they hovered over empty space, land was in sight. The horse’s front hooves landed securely but its back legs were struggling to get back up to safety, it was too much, and the animal couldn’t save them. As the horse fell into the blackness, he leapt from the saddle and pierced his knife into the wall of rock on the other side. Erik looked down into the darkness to see the horse descend, helplessly falling into this prison of rock. He raised his free hand to climb to the top when sharp pain pierced his shoulder. Erik clenched his teeth and let go of the knife. Then he began to fall, into the abyss, into this black gorge, and into everlasting darkness.
Please tell me your honest opinion. I do not care if it is harsh, I just want to know if this is good or not. Thank you for reading!
P.S This is just the first paragraph not the entire chapter.